Crash Davis: This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
Umpire: Call me a cocksucker again, and you're outta here.
Crash Davis: You're a cocksucker.
Umpire: You're... outta.
Larry: Whoa! What the fuck is that?
Larry: Who's this? Who are you?
Crash Davis: I'm the player to be named later.
Annie Savoy: Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Yeah, you said "Crash".
Annie Savoy: Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Ooh, I've heard of stuff like this.
Annie Savoy: Yeah? Have you heard of Walt Whitman?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: No. Who's he play for?
Crash Davis: Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.
Annie Savoy: The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self awareness.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: A good friend of mine used to say, "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." Think about that for a while.
Crash Davis: Come on, Rook. Show us that million-dollar arm, 'cause I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours.
Crash Davis: C'mon Meat, throw me that weak-ass shit.
Crash Davis: I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon.
Crash Davis: Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?
Crash Davis: I wouldn't dig in if I was you. Next one might be at your head. I don't know where it's gonna go. Swear to God.
Crash Davis: The rose goes in the front, big guy.
Annie Savoy: Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
Millie: Well, he fucks like he pitches - sorta all over the place.
Crash Davis: I dare you to throw the hammer. You ain't that stupid.