Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
Courtney: If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. Every cent.
Veronica Sawyer: You're beautiful.
Veronica Sawyer: That knife is filthy.
J.D.: What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?
Veronica Sawyer: Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little bit better than you do. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless.
Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica Sawyer: Yeah? I just got back.
Veronica Sawyer: What the fuck?
Rodney: Ok, now I rarely listen to Neanderthals like Kurt Kelly but he said that he and Ram had a nice little sword fight in your mouth last night.
Veronica Sawyer: Ew! That son of a bitch.
Veronica Sawyer: Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town.
Heather Chandler: They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.
Veronica Sawyer: How very.
Veronica Sawyer: You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel you're fucking psychotic.
J.D.: You say 'toh-may-toe', I say 'toe-mah-toh.
Veronica Sawyer: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
Pauline Fleming: I think it's a good opportunity to share the... feelings that this suicide has spurred in all of us. Now, who would like to begin?
Female Stoner: I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and then smash.
Pauline Fleming: Now Tracey, let's not rehash the coroner's report. Let's talk emotions.
J.D.: Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except date rapes and aids jokes.
Veronica Sawyer: Get a job.
Veronica Sawyer: She's my best friend. God, I hate her.
Kurt Kelly: It'd be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer/Heather Chandler sandwich. Punch it in, Ram.
Ram Sweeney: Oh, hell yes. I wanna set a Heather on my Johnson and just start spinnin' her around like a goddamn pinwheel.
Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.
Veronica's Mom: When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.
Veronica Sawyer: Hey, Martha. My date for the prom kinda flaked out on me. I was wondering, If you weren't doing anything that night, maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn.
Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock: I'd like that.
Veronica Sawyer: Yeah. Me too.
Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.
Veronica Sawyer: Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.
Answer: I think it's one of those "This can't be happening, I must be dreaming" moments. Same as when a character pinches themselves in order to wake up, or they tell someone to pinch them. Veronica can hardly believe what she and JD did.