Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls. And bouncing off the walls. Without that gun, I'd have some fun. I'd kick you in the...
[A vase hits Eddie in the head stopping his singing.]
Roger Rabbit: Nose.
Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with walls.
Eddie Valiant: But this does.
[Kicks Smart Ass in the balls].
R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.
Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?
Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother.
Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.
Roger Rabbit: Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks... And I MEAN ICE!
Eddie Valiant: That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon.
Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes.
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling. I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.