Danny: He is a better human being than that bitch on wheels you've got for a friend.
Joan: Tomorrow you know, they're going to come at me like marauding beasts bent on destruction.
Debbie: Stop it.
Joan: Deborah, you work in advertising... a civilized business. I on the other hand work with monsters.
Debbie: You're talking about 5 year olds.
Joan: Right! and my job is to break their spirit. That is what kindergarten is all about. The Germans invented it, think about it.
Debbie: Bullshit. You don't know what love is. You've gotten everything you have always wanted and now you're feeling sorry for yourself because there's something you want and you can't have it. But you had it! I gave you love. But you asked me to leave and I left.
Bernie: You know what your problem is? Your face. Come on, you're too good-looking. Girls go out with you and get nervous. They feel dumpy, they don't want to compete. They want a guy like... like me. A guy who'll make them look good. A basic Neanderthal type. The swarthy type. A man's man.
Bernie: Interesting broad. Where'd she develop her personality? A car crash?
Debbie: This is Joan, my roommate. She specializes in unsolicited attacks.
Bernie: You don't go here. You don't go there. You're about as much fun as a stick.
Danny: That's good! Now maybe you could find it in your heart to take this thing and shove it up your ass.
Joan: Oh god, Pat's going in for the kill. Oh my! That was a nice turn.
Debbie: With just a hint of giddiness.
Joan: Her big move should be coming up any moment. The combination hair flip with a giggle.
Debbie: There is a 3.2 level of difficulty here. Joan let's see if she can pull it off.
Joan: This is it... this is it... Oh Yes.
Debbie: Oh Yes! Yes! Oh Bravo! Bravo! 9.0.
Debbie: Would you stop following me around. I don't want to have to start drinking in the suburbs.