Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Movie Quote Quiz

Chastity Pariah: Boy am I a horn dog. Is this face taken?

Bob Redding: I run the movie house.
Elvira: Oh, really? I'm in movies too! Have you ever shown, uh, "I Married Satan"?
Bob Redding: No.
Elvira: How about the sequel, "I Married Satan 2"?
Bob Redding: I, ah... I can only play G-rated movies.
Elvira: Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex and violence.

Elvira: I didn't know I had a good aunt, let alone a great one.

Elvira: Grab a tool and start banging. Let's do it.

Elvira: And don't forget, tomorrow we're showing the head with two things... I mean the thing with two heads. Until then, this is Elvira saying unpleasant dreams.

Mrs. Meeker: Leslie was the one covering people in apple butter. I was just an innocent on-licker.

Bob Redding: Patty... you're not a very nice person.

Vincent Talbot: I must apologize for my behavior in the office, it's just that your appearance was a bit of a shock to me.
Elvira: It's okay. My appearance is kind of a shock to everybody.

Elvira: Hey, nice jacket. Who shot the couch?

Elvira: What is there to do for fun around here?
Robin Meeker: This town isn't big on fun. But there is one place! The bowling alley. It gets pretty wild on league night.
Elvira: Gee, I think I can handle it.

Chastity Pariah: Please, I don't think we need to resort to name calling. I think what Calvin is trying to say is that this Elvira is a person of easy virtue, a purveyor of pulchritude, a one-woman Sodom and Gomorrah, if you will. A slimy, slithering succubus, a concubine, a street walker, a tramp, a slut, a cheap whore.

Elvira: Bloody Mary.
Bartender: No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?
Elvira: Maybe, but, ah... I'll have a couple of drinks first.

Earl Hooter: Sounds like your looking to get yourself fired, little lady.
Elvira: Yeah, go ahead and fire me. I need this job like a leper needs a three-way mirror.

Patty: Seems to me it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
Elvira: Cheap? Who are you callin' cheap? What's that perfume you're wearing, Catch of the Day?
Patty: Look, honey. I don't know which hole you crawl out of, but I suggest you crawl right back in if you know what's good for you.

Lesley Meeker: We do have a room. Remember the trucker with the bad skin checked out yesterday?
Elvira: I hope you changed the sheets.

Elvira: I'd bend over backwards. I'd bend over forwards.

Patty: Trash does not compete with class.

Chastity Pariah: He had his way with me in broad daylight.
Calvin Cobb: Me? You could have worn out a mechanical bull.

Earl Hooter: The name's Earl, but the ladies back home call me Longhorn, maybe you can guess why.
Elvira: Gee, I don't know, does it have anything to do with your breath?

Elvira: Whoa. Must have taken too much antacid in the sixties.

Other mistake: When Elvira is being chased by her Uncle Vinnie, you can see the hole in his head from where Elvira throws her stiletto at him. However, the hole in his head is apparent 'before' the scene in which she actually throws her stiletto.

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