Peter Plunkett: All I wanted to be was happily useless, you made me miserably useless.
Jesse Wilson: Hello? Hello, is there anybody out there? Come in, come in. Can you hear me? Is anybody out there? Hello? Can you tell us where to go?
Special Zombie: Come to the hospital.
Jesse Wilson: Sure, we'll be right there.
Doc Mandel: Hold it, hold it! Uh, pardon me, but would you mind telling me who the President of the United States is?
Special Zombie: Um, Harry Truman.
Jesse Wilson: Who's Harry Truman?
Tom Essex: They want brains, we'll give them brains.
Janis Zuckerman: I'm looking for a guy named Louie, fuzzy hair, crooked teeth, bug eyes. Has he been around lately?
Girl Punk: Suck shit through a tube.
Flyguy: My bitch better have my money/Through rain, sleet, or snow/My whore better have my money/Not half, not some, but all my cash/'Cause if she don't, /I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.