Farmer Gene Green: What in the blue blazes is the circus doing here in these parts?
Art Ridzik: You were talking to that jazzball so long I thought about having my head shaved.
Ivan Danko: It could be a good idea.
Ty Webb: You know I'm always shooting myself with one of those poison-dipped, crossbow darts. I don't know why they don't put a warning on those things.
Wiggins: You know, I kind of liked you better when you was a coward.
Wyatt Earp: It's all true, give or take a lie or two.
Peter Plunkett: All I wanted to be was happily useless, you made me miserably useless.
Regine Dandrige: Let's talk about blood, Mr. Vincent, it's very precious to me.
Garfield: In my seventh life, I was a laboratory animal. To this day, every time I see a test tube, I throw up.
Albert: Jackson, why did you have to bring me along in the first place?
Action Jackson: You remind me of a old friend.
Albert: Then why didn't you bring your old friend?
Action Jackson: He's dead.
Albert: Damn, man why did you have to tell me that?
Roadrash: Must have been a rowdy crowd tonight.
Sylvia Pickel: You're very brave.
Nick Deezy: Everybody looks brave holding a machinegun.
Tara: They are gardeners and carpenters, they are not tomato men.
Vance: We do not want to end up with a low potassium level.
Pee-wee: Duh, Vance! You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college.
Pop: That judge in the orange skirt... Make yer pee pee harder than a ten pound bag a' nickel jawbreakers, you know what I mean?
Janis Zuckerman: I'm looking for a guy named Louie, fuzzy hair, crooked teeth, bug eyes. Has he been around lately?
Girl Punk: Suck shit through a tube.
Wanda Saknussemm: Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.
Daryle: Think of all the clothes I could have bought in Europe.
Billy: Ahh forget it. None of us speak European anyway.