Officer Lack: Have you ever had your head forcibly rammed up your ass? Officer Kornblau: Uh, no. Officer Lack: Well mark your calendar...that day's coming.
Capt. Earl Armbruster: Just because Dellaplane had a few family problems. Action Jackson: The man's son is a sexual psychopath! If I had family problems like that, I'd have myself neutered. Capt. Earl Armbruster: You almost tore that boy's arm off. Action Jackson: So? He had a spare.
Officer Kornblau: It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night. Officer Lack: Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Wax.
Albert: Jackson, why did you have to bring me along in the first place? Action Jackson: You remind me of a old friend. Albert: Then why didn't you bring your old friend? Action Jackson: He's dead. Albert: Damn, man why did you have to tell me that?
Officer Kornblau: That's one dead piece of shit car builder.
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