Dropout #1: Hey, dweebs! Does mommy hold your dicks when you piss?
Les: I am so dead they're going to have to bury me twice.
Drunk Driver: Ooh, a Mazaratti, This one's much nicer than mine.
Dean: Get the juicehead to pull over.
Les: An innocent girl, a harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?
Dean: Les, that license in your wallet, that's not an ordinary piece of paper, that is a driver's license, and its not only a driver's license, it's an automobile license, and it's not only an automobile license, it's a license to live, a license to be free, a license to go wherever, whenever and with whomever you choose.
Miss Hellberg: Well, Mr. Anderson... We were able to retrieve your test results from the computer. And as I suppose you already know, you failed. God giveth, and the DMV taketh away. You mustn't fuck with the Department of Motor Vehicle. We can make your life a living hell.
Dean: If you're lucky she'll bite.
Dean: Archie's come back! Come baaaaaaaaaaack.
Les: No thanks Dad, I already have a Mercedes.
Les: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you?
Mr. Anderson: Yeah.
Les: And what did you think?
Mr. Anderson: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea.
Les: I'm a free man.
Dean: Les, to live in fear is not to live at all.
Dean: Les, what's the matter with you, are you 16 or 60? I mean, could you take the car out of neutral? We just got passed by a street sweeper.
Mr. Anderson: We had a college fund set aside for you! That's gone now! You had free room and board, two trusting parents and a social life. All gone! You had a TV, a stereo, baseball, tennis racket, a skateboard, a bicycle - All gone! you even had sunlight and a window in your room.
Mr. Anderson: Les. Can you tell me what size shark is responsible for this. No don't say anything, save it for the judge.
Les: Les jams the breaks in order to prevent an accident and looks over at the instructor whose coffee cup lands in his crotch.
Les' DMV Examiner: You're in luck son... the cup... was empty....
