Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
Fessal: 'Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please?'
Barry: What's that?
Fessal: It's a woman's voice 'cause... They'd want lots of liquid peroxide... So they can... Dye her hair or something...
Barry: And her beard.
Barry: You've got a beard!
Fessal: I covered it!
Barry: You covered your beard? How?
[Fessal covers his beard feebly with his own hands.]
Barry: So you went into a shop... With your hands on your face, like that, and asked for 12 bottles of bleach? So why has she got her hands on her face, Fess?
Fessal: [after an uncomfortably long silence.] 'Cause she's got a beard.