Best comedy movie quotes of 2010

Nick Halsey: You need to put up some curtains.
Samantha: Why? So I don't have some drunk staring at me all day?
Nick Halsey: No so you don't have to look at your future.

Dylan Dog: See? That's just what this case needed. A seven-foot tall, flesh-eating zombie. Which begs the question, are there any actual people left in New Orleans?

John 'Spud' Milton: I don't know about you Sir, but drinking just makes me sad. It's like the more you drink, the sadder you get... and the sadder you get the more you drink.

Florence Marr: I just got out of a long relationship and I don't want to go from just having sex to just having sex to just having sex.
Roger Greenberg: Who's the third 'just having sex'?
Florence Marr: You. If we had sex.

Ma-Ti: You're a fool, Critic! A damn fool! You cannot change your destiny! You can only choose to meet it... and you will fail.

Sheila: You are nothing but rubber shit.

Ben Smith: I like you. I haven't liked anyone... like this in a long time.
Mona Gray: How long were you engaged?
Ben Smith: Seven months.
Mona Gray: Which months?
Ben Smith: December to July. Why?
Mona Gray: That's 212 days. Unless it was a leap year.

Parrot: I love you, Mr Maynard.
Victor Maynard: What the fuck?

Edgar Frog: Death to all vampires?
Alan Frog: Maximum body count.
Edgar Frog: We are awesome monster bashers.
Alan Frog: The meanest.
Edgar Frog: The baddest.

Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to Jackass.

Glen McCreavy: Why does the asshole always get the girl?

Dan: When I suck my dick, I lie on my back, I throw my legs over my head.
Box: You suck your own dick?
Dan: Yeah.
Box: You cut your own hair and you suck your own dick. You're like a Swiss army knife.

Lou: Tab Lazenby. So you're the new fat cat at meows. And by that, I mean you should really switch to skimmed milk.
Tab Lazenby: Oh, Lou, so catty. I see they've given you the key to the executive dumpster. All that butt-sniffing finally paid off.

Darla: I'm a naughty schoolgirl!
Barry: You look a little old to be a schoolgirl.

Big Ronnie: Apology not fucking accepted.

John: Been in kind of a dark, existential place, to tell you the truth and then... I met your mom.

Marmaduke: This is my stepbro, Carlos. Say hey, Carlos.
Carlos: Hey, Carlos.
Marmaduke: He's pretty cool for a cat. Which helps, since he's kinda my only friend.

Aldous Snow: Doesn't it make sense that we should stay here and possibly have the time of your life?

Spencer Aimes: We've been married for three years and we've never been more than five minutes away from your parents. They're always coming over and your dad's all... all... Well, uh, this is how the Kornfeldt's load the dishwasher. And, mow the lawn clockwise 'cause that's the Kornfeldt way. Take this piece of coal, stick it up your kiester, squeeze it real tight like we do, and you'll and make a Kornfeldt diamond.

Victor: It's not a mushroom, okay. It's a truffle.