Best comedy movie quotes of 2010

Mr. Washington: Read him a bedtime story.

Sam: If my wife and I fought like that... we'd still be married.

Wally Mars: Do you want to tell me about your new school?
Sebastian: Why?
Wally Mars: Because you're a kid and there's nothing else to talk about.

Samantha Jones: Lawrence of my labia!

Doctor Monro: And your new students, are they enjoying your lectures?
Doctor Robert Knox: Er, not as much as I understand they're enjoying your wife, sir.

Yogi Bear: What the heck was that?
Boo Boo: I have problems with potato salad.

Mitchie Torres: This is me, trying to save something that I care about.
Shane Gray: So am I.
Mitchie Torres: Really? And how's that working out for you?

Ethan Tremblay: My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here.
Peter Highman: Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.
Ethan Tremblay: But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here.
Peter Highman: But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

P.K. Highsmith: Ay, ay, ay! You shut your face! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! You hear me? You hear me?!

Dave Stutler: I'm afraid of flying on planes!
Balthazar Blake: Well, today's your lucky day 'cause I brought an eagle.

Sergio Roma: You've been mind-fucked before?
Aaron Green: I don't think so.
Sergio Roma: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
Aaron Green: You are?
Sergio Roma: Can't you feel my dick fucking your mind?
Aaron Green: No, I can't really feel anything.
Sergio Roma: See? That's it. That's the art of it. I'm mind-fucking the shit out of you.
Aaron Green: Well I hope you're wearing a condom cause I have a dirty mind.

Ben Smith: I like you. I haven't liked anyone... like this in a long time.
Mona Gray: How long were you engaged?
Ben Smith: Seven months.
Mona Gray: Which months?
Ben Smith: December to July. Why?
Mona Gray: That's 212 days. Unless it was a leap year.

Parrot: I love you, Mr Maynard.
Victor Maynard: What the fuck?

Diggs: You wanna bite something pal? Bite this.

Glen McCreavy: Why does the asshole always get the girl?

Marmaduke: This is my stepbro, Carlos. Say hey, Carlos.
Carlos: Hey, Carlos.
Marmaduke: He's pretty cool for a cat. Which helps, since he's kinda my only friend.

Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to Jackass.

Tom: Alright, I dig holes.
Katie: That's just calling a spade a spade, isn't it?
Gerri: I always call it a shovel.
Tom: You call it a fork. I call it a trailer-mounted tripod cable percussive boring unit.
Gerri: That's why I love him.

Lisa: Did you ever wish you could delete everything you said as soon as you'd said it? Lately all I do is hear myself being so weak and whiny and needy that I wish I could delete every.
George: I think the answer to that is to stop talking. Deny a voice to what's falling apart. No lip service. That's my advice to you.

Puck: Six beers enter. No beers leave.