Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl: You just contact the mayor's office, he has a special signal he shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock.
Hit Girl: Show's over, motherfuckers.
Dave Lizewski: How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero?
Marty: I don't know. Probably because it's fucking impossible, dipshit.
Huge Goon: Woah! Hey, it's me, boss! Everything's under control. Chris: "U-under control"?!? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass!
Dave Lizewski: With no power comes no responsibility.
Damon Macready: Tool up, honey bunny. It's time to get bad guys.
Answer: Guy: "You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know? Kick-Ass: "And three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches, and you want to know what's wrong with me?! Yeah, I'd rather die, so bring it on!"