[Trying to name other couples like Kirk and Molly.] Devon: The president of France and that girl who went out with Mick Jagger. Stainer: He knows about wine! And he has a French accent! He could probably french-kiss like a motherfucker.
Stainer: You have to admit, Marnie was kind of a skank [turns around to see Marnie.] Oh, Marnie. Uh, we were just talking about the name Marnie and how it's unfortunate that it's not more common. Marnie: Fuck you, Stainer. Stainer: Ah, you didn't let me finish. More common for skanks.
Kirk: You lied about me to your parents! Molly: I did not! Kirk: "Kirk's in aviation?" That's like saying the guy who shovels elephant shit in the circus is in show business.
Stainer: You do realize what's happening? She's setting you up with the bitchy friend. Kirk: Patty's not a bitch, she's just different. Stainer: Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't.
Kirk: Stainer, I know you don't like her very much. Stainer: Nooo, no. I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it.
"Plane Doctor": You shouldn't be using your cellphone. It's bad for the plane. Patty: Excuse me. Are you a plane doctor? No. So shut the hell up.
Jack: You just gotta go up to her and say "Hey, jizzed in my shorts."
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