Easy A

Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

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Brandon: So, what's with your new look? It's very whore couture.

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Brandon: Do you wanna go out with me?
Olive Penderghast: Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were gay.
Brandon: You said I should pretend to be straight.
Olive Penderghast: I didn't mean with me!
Brandon: I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling.

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Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?

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Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.

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Rhiannon: George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax.

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Rhiannon: You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit?
Olive Penderghast: Yes... I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants.

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Brandon: I'm drunk, bitches!

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Olive Penderghast: That's the one thing that trumps religion... Capitalism.

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Rosemary: I had a similar situation when I was your age. I had a horrible reputation.
Olive Penderghast: Why?
Rosemary: Because I slept with a whole bunch of people. Mostly guys.
Olive Penderghast: Mom!

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Olive Penderghast: The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated.

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Mr. Griffith: I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... But I can assure you, they're not all diamonds."Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?

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Nina: Perhaps you should embroider a red "A" on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp.
Olive Penderghast: Perhaps you should get a wardrobe, you abominable twat.

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Olive Penderghast: I really like this guy, and I might even lose my virginity to him. I dunno when it'll happen. It might be five minutes from now, or tonight, or six months from now, or maybe on our wedding night, but the really amazing thing is, it is nobody's goddamn business.

xx:xx:xx

Olive Penderghast: I just thought of the funniest thing. My name is an anagram for "I love."

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