Best comedy movie quotes of 2012

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Movie Quote Quiz
Wreck-It Ralph picture

Vanellope von Schweetz: As your merciful princess I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed.
Crowd of girls: What?!
Sergeant Calhoun: Well, this place just got interesting.

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Dark Shadows picture

Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.

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Pitch Perfect picture

Aubrey: What's your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.

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Silver Linings Playbook picture

Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?

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Ted (2012)

Ted picture

Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.

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Seven Psychopaths picture

Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.

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Men in Black III picture

Cop 1: Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats. I bet you the thing cost 6 grand.
Agent J: Ah, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
Cop 2: Hey, what kind of work do you do? An individual of your... Particular ethic persuasion?
Agent J: Mmm...
Cop 1: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Agent J: Mmmm! Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
Cop 1: Where'd you get the car?
Cop 2: And the suit?
Agent J: I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife, suit from your grandmother.

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Joyful Noise picture

Vi Rose Hill: Quit it with those nails, Edward Scissorhands.

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Ice Age 4: Continental Drift picture

Gastornis bird chicks: When you drink water through your trunk, does it taste like boogers?
Ellie: Uh no... Well... Sometimes, Now let's move!

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21 Jump Street picture

Schmidt: When did I get stabbed? That's AWESOME!

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Brave picture

King Fergus: The ancients spoke of it. It is the heart of this fierce land. It is carried in the wind. Born of our legends and when we are put to the test, it is the one thing that we must always be.

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Hope Springs picture

Kay: He is everything. But I'm really lonely. And to be with someone, when you're not really with him can... I think I might be less lonely alone.

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The Three Stooges picture

Larry: Hey, little fella, want a peanut? Dolphins love peanuts, you know. Here you go. Catch.
[Larry tosses peanut to dolphin and it falls into its blow hole.]
Curly: Oh, my God! I think he's snufficatin'!
Larry: Don't worry, pal, I know the Heineken maneuver.

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Hotel Transylvania picture

Jonathan: Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Dracula: Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Jonathan: That's kinda racist.

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Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted picture

Alex: What are you doing? Zebras can't drive. Only penguins and people can drive!

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The Five-Year Engagement picture

Alex Eilhauer: I feel like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's dick.

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The Dictator picture

Zoey: This is my store. This is a free earth collective. We are a vegan, feminist, non-profit cooperative operating within an anti-racist, anti-oppressive framework for people of all or no genders.

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What to Expect When You're Expecting picture

Wendy: I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. Well, I'm calling it - pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions.

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The Watch picture

Bob: Singing was their hobby. Closing ass was their job.

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