Best comedy movie quotes of 2012
Angelique Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... Or I'll put you back in the box.
Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!
Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.
Cop 1: Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats. I bet you the thing cost 6 grand.
Agent J: Ah, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
Cop 2: Hey, what kind of work do you do? An individual of your... Particular ethic persuasion?
Agent J: Mmm...
Cop 1: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Agent J: Mmmm! Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
Cop 1: Where'd you get the car?
Cop 2: And the suit?
Agent J: I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife, suit from your grandmother.
Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.
Marcy: It just doesn't fit the HBO brand. We do violence and heartache but it's sexy. Do you understand?
Linda: Of course, what was I thinking? I mean you know what we could do? We could throw in some vampires in there to have sex with the penguins, and then you could have brooding sexy little vampire penguins. Would that work for your brand? What if the polar bears were hookers and on meth and then just show their tits for no reason? How would that work?
Marcy: I think you're joking, but if you could do that that would be very interesting for us.