Best comedy movie quotes of 1998

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Movie Quote Quiz
The Parent Trap picture

Nick Parker: You two help Meredith.
Meredith Blake: Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff, you'll help me.
Hallie Parker: Not a bad idea.
Annie James: Yeah, see any cliffs?

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The Big Lebowski picture

Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

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There's Something About Mary picture

Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels picture

Eddie: Oh, and if Tom or anyone else for that matter feels like givin' them a bit of a kickin', I'm sure it won't do any harm.
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?
Bacon: I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past.

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Patch Adams picture

Patch Adams: So what now, huh? What do you want from me? Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion.

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Ever After picture

Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.

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Shakespeare in Love picture

Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.

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The Wedding Singer picture

Julia: You're an asshole. [Storms off crying.]
Robbie: [Seeing that she left him a gift.] I AM AN ASSHOLE!

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A Bug's Life picture

Hopper: If I didn't promise my mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I'd kill you!
Mulch: You know, no one appreciates that more than I do.

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Dr. Dolittle picture

Dr. John Dolittle: ...This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?
Goat: Does Brad Pitt need a goat?

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Half Baked picture

Sir-Smoke-Alot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy.

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The Mask of Zorro picture

Alejandro Murrieta: Do you surrender?
Elena: Never, but I may scream.
Alejandro Murrieta: I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.

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A Night at the Roxbury picture

Steve Butabi: Good, how are you?
Doug Butabi: About 8 o'clock, 8:15. Yeah, all the time.
Steve Butabi: BMW.
Doug Butabi: Right at sunset.
Steve Butabi: Vanilla mostly.

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The Odd Couple 2 picture

Oscar Madison: Was it San Marino?
Felix Ungar: Not San Marino, maybe San Quentino.
Oscar Madison: Not San Quentino, San Sorina.
Felix Ungar: No not San Sorina.
Oscar Madison: San Mateo. San Clemente. Roberto Clemente.
Felix Ungar: Sancho Pancho. Pancho Gonzales.
Oscar Madison: Ferrando Lamas, Ricardo Montalban.
Felix Ungar: Ricky Ricardo.

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Out of Sight picture

Glenn Michaels: What are you going to do with a hatchet?

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Playing by Heart picture

Paul: Don't look at me with that tone of voice.

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Pleasantville picture

David: Yeah, where's our lawyer?
Big Bob: Oh, I think we want to keep these proceedings as pleasant as possible.

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Practical Magic picture

Sally Owens: It was the curse, wasn't it? He died because I loved him so much.

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Rush Hour picture

Lee: Ah! Beach Boys.
Carter: Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my goddamn radio.
Lee: The Beach Boys are great American music.
Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ass whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man.

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Stepmom picture

Luke: Anna! You do not run out on your mother.
Anna Harrison: No, that's your job.

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