Best comedy movie quotes of 1998

The Parent Trap picture

Nick Parker: You two help Meredith.
Meredith Blake: Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff, you'll help me.
Hallie Parker: Not a bad idea.
Annie James: Yeah, see any cliffs?

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The Big Lebowski picture

Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels picture

Soap: A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

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Patch Adams picture

Patch Adams: So what now, huh? What do you want from me? Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion.

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There's Something About Mary picture

Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

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The Wedding Singer picture

Julia: You're an asshole. [Storms off crying.]
Robbie: [Seeing that she left him a gift.] I AM AN ASSHOLE!

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Ever After picture

Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.

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BASEketball picture

Narrator: Soon it was commonplace for entire teams to change cities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis Lakers moved to Los Angeles where there are no lakes. The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they don't allow music. The Raiders moved from Oakland to LA back to Oakland. No-one in LA seemed to notice.

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Martha, Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence picture

Frank: There's nothing more boring than looking at paintings. Only reason anyone ever comes to an art gallery is to get laid.

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Dirty Work picture

Derrick: Hand over the milk money, Weaver.
Mitch Weaver: I'm afraid I can't do that Derrick, I'm just not sure you'll spend it on milk.

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A Bug's Life picture

Hopper: If I didn't promise my mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I'd kill you!
Mulch: You know, no one appreciates that more than I do.

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Shakespeare in Love picture

Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.

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