Best comedy movie quotes of 1998

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
The Big Lebowski picture

Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

More The Big Lebowski quotes
The Parent Trap picture

Nick Parker: You two help Meredith.
Meredith Blake: Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff, you'll help me.
Hallie Parker: Not a bad idea.
Annie James: Yeah, see any cliffs?

More The Parent Trap quotes
There's Something About Mary picture

Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

More There's Something About Mary quotes
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels picture

Soap: A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

More Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels quotes
Patch Adams picture

Patch Adams: So what now, huh? What do you want from me? Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion.

More Patch Adams quotes
Ever After picture

Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.

More Ever After quotes
Jack Frost picture

Charlie: You the man.
Jack: No, I'm the snowman.

More Jack Frost quotes
The Wedding Singer picture

Julia: You're an asshole. [Storms off crying.]
Robbie: [Seeing that she left him a gift.] I AM AN ASSHOLE!

More The Wedding Singer quotes
Shakespeare in Love picture

Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.

More Shakespeare in Love quotes
Half Baked picture

Scarface: [Pointing at people] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!

More Half Baked quotes
The Big Hit picture

Paris: What would you do to someone... who decided to fuck with you in your own house?
Cisco: I'd bust some caps.
Paris: Bust some caps! Give this man a gold star.

More The Big Hit quotes
Bride of Chucky picture

Chucky: Figures you'd hitch us a ride with a fugitive.

More Bride of Chucky quotes
Dr. Dolittle picture

Woman: Need some help?
Dr. John Dolittle: Oh, no, I'm - we're - we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here.
Rodney: Ask her if she's got any lettuce.
Dr. John Dolittle: Shut your mouth. Shut your furry little mouth right now.

More Dr. Dolittle quotes
A Night at the Roxbury picture

Doug Butabi: Idiot.
Craig: You know Doug, just because you and your brother are having problems, that's no reason to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner.

More A Night at the Roxbury quotes
The Object of My Affection picture

Sidney: If I wasn't happily married and you weren't my wife's stepsister I'd have an affair with you in a second.

More The Object of My Affection quotes
Out of Sight picture

Karen Sisco: I'm sale rep, and I came her to call on a customer, but they gave me a hard time, because I'm a girl.
Jack Foley: Is that how you think of yourself?
Karen Sisco: As a sales rep?
Jack Foley: As a girl.

More Out of Sight quotes
Playing by Heart picture

Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.
Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.

More Playing by Heart quotes
Pleasantville picture

Jennifer: This place gives me the creeps! Did you know that the books are blank?
David: What?
Jennifer: Yeah, I was in the library and I looked, and they have covers and there's nothing inside of them.
David: What were you doing in a library?
Jennifer: I got lost.

More Pleasantville quotes
Practical Magic picture

Sally Owens: Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.

More Practical Magic quotes
Primary Colors picture

Howard Ferguson: He's lost them.
Henry Burton: Fuck 'em. He's got me.

More Primary Colors quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.