Mary's Step-Father: Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!
Dom: Have you ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?
Paramedic: We got a bleeder!
Mary's Step-Father: Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank?
Warren: Have you seen my baseball?
Dom: Here you've been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and really it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.
Ted: I say they should put more meats on a stick, you know? They got a lot of sweets on sticks-popsicles, fudgesicles, lollipops - but hardly any meat.
Mary: I agree there should be more.
Ted: You know what I'd like to see? Meat in a cone. You could put corned beef hash in a cone, or chopped liver.
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