Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Mary's Step-Father: Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!
Dom: Have you ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?
Paramedic: We got a bleeder!
Mary: Is that... Is that hair gel?
Mary's Step-Father: Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank?
Warren: Have you seen my baseball?
Dom: Here you've been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and really it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.