Simon Birch
Movie Quote Quiz

Simon: I said, what does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.
Simon: Who ever said church needs a continental breakfast?

Simon: I've been thinking.
Joe: Yeah?
Simon: Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we're in the pewee.
Joe: So?
Simon: So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking.

Miss Leavy: The Star of Bethlehem is not a piƱata.

Joe: I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.

Simon: She's so sexy that sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Simon: What I want to do and what I do are two separate things. If we all went around doing what we wanted all the time, there'd be chaos.

Simon: You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.

Simon: I don't see how pork chops could lead to intercourse, no matter how good they are.

Simon: Boobs.

Joe: My balls just turned to prunes.
Simon: My balls just turned to raisins.

Simon: Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: What if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Rev. Russell: What are you doing sitting in a corner Simon?
Simon: Thinking about God.
Rev. Russell: In a corner?
Simon: Faith is not in a floor plan.

Joe: Hey, your son is not a screw up, he's a hero.
Mr. Birch: What?
Joe: I said he's a hero. And you don't deserve him. I want you to know that.

Continuity mistake: When Rebecca Wenteworth is walking towards the baseball diamond, she is looking behind her and waving. When she gets hit in the head with the ball, it's on the wrong side of the face. She should have been hit on the left side of the face.

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