Simon Birch
Movie Quote Quiz

Simon: Boobs.

Simon: Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: What if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Rev. Russell: What are you doing sitting in a corner Simon?
Simon: Thinking about God.
Rev. Russell: In a corner?
Simon: Faith is not in a floor plan.

Joe: Hey, your son is not a screw up, he's a hero.
Mr. Birch: What?
Joe: I said he's a hero. And you don't deserve him. I want you to know that.

Simon: I've been thinking.
Joe: Yeah?
Simon: Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we're in the pewee.
Joe: So?
Simon: So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking.

Joe: I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.

Simon: What I want to do and what I do are two separate things. If we all went around doing what we wanted all the time, there'd be chaos.

Simon: I said, what does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.
Simon: Who ever said church needs a continental breakfast?

Simon: I don't see how pork chops could lead to intercourse, no matter how good they are.

Miss Leavy: The Star of Bethlehem is not a piƱata.

Joe: My balls just turned to prunes.
Simon: My balls just turned to raisins.

Simon: She's so sexy that sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Simon: You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.

Continuity mistake: In the Christmas Pageant scenes, Miss Leavey is seen pulling down on the rope that raises or lowers the kid playing the angel. By pulling down on the rope, the kid should go higher. But when Miss Leavey pulls down on the rope, the kid is lowered as well.

Neil Jones

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Question: Why did the mom's boyfriend Ben adopt Joe? Shouldn't the minister have adopted Joe seeing as he was the boy's father?

Answer: For the reverend to admit to being Joe's father, meaning he not only had a child out of wedlock but knowingly abandoned him, would destroy him. Ben knew him and cared about him and would be able to take care of him.

LorgSkyegon

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