Burn After Reading

CIA Superior: What did we learn, Palmer?
CIA Officer: I don't know, sir.
CIA Superior: I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir.
CIA Superior: I'm fucked if I know what we did.

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Linda Litzke: You should put up a note in the ladies locker room.
Chad Feldheimer: Put up a note?"Highly classified shit found: Raw intelligence shit, CIA shit?" Hello, anybody lose their secret CIA shit? I don't think so!

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Osborne Cox: You are the guy from the gym.
Ted Treffon: I don't represent Hardbodies.
Osborne Cox: I know very well what you represent. You represent the idiocy of today.
Ted Treffon: No, I don't represent that either.
Osborne Cox: You are part of a league of morons. Oh, yes. You see you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole, fucking life. But guess what. Today, I win.

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Ted Treffon: Linda, what do you really know about this guy?
Linda Litzke: I told you he's in the Treasury Department.
Ted Treffon: But eh, no, I mean, you now he could be one of these guys that cruises the internet.
Linda Litzke: Yeah, so am I.

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Osborne Cox: Some clown, or two clowns, have gotten a hold of my memoirs.
Katie Cox: Your what?
Osborne Cox: Stolen it, or I don't know...
Katie Cox: Your what?
Osborne Cox: My memoirs, the book I'm writing.
Katie Cox: Well why in God's name would anyone think that's worth anything?

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Osborne Cox: I have a drinking problem? Fuck you, Peck, you're a Mormon. Compared to you we ALL have a drinking problem!

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Harry Pfarrer: Who the fuck do you work for, you fucker?

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Harry Pfarrer: Oh my fuck... I just killed a fucking spook!

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Osborne Cox: If you ever carried out your proposed threat you would experience such a shitstorm of consequences my friend, your empty little head would be spinning faster than the wheels of your Schwinn bicycle back there.
Chad Feldheimer: Y-you think that's a Schwinn?

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Harry Pfarrer: Maybe I can get a run in.

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Chad Feldheimer: Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be worried... About the security... Of your shit.

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Osborne Cox: No. No, I'm sorry, I don't know the number to, uh, my savings account because believe it or not I don't spend my entire day sitting around trying to memorize the fucking numbers to my fucking bank accounts! Moron!

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Linda Litzke: I'm really looking for a guy with a sense of humor.
Chad Feldheimer: That guy, wait, that guy wasn't bad.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: No before.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: Umm, he might not be a loser...
Linda Litzke: How can you tell?
Chad Feldheimer: That's a Brioni suit.
Linda Litzke: Yeah?
Chad Feldheimer: Shit yeah!
Linda Litzke: Does he look like he would have a sense of humor?
Chad Feldheimer: Looks like his optometrist has a sense of humor.

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Osborne Cox: Give me the CD!
Chad Feldheimer: As soon as you give us the money, dickwad!

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CIA Officer: We'll... Interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. Burn the body. Get rid of it.
CIA Officer: OK.

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Harry Pfarrer: Go around the corner, we'll do it in the back.
Katie Cox: You're so coarse.
Harry Pfarrer: Back of the car... Not the rear entry situation.

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