Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.

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Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.

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Max: There is more to life than to watch other people live it.

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Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"

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Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

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Slartibartfast: Ever heard of a place... I think it's called Norway? That was one of mine. I got an award for it.

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Principal Powers: I'm not Wonder Woman, you know.

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Harry: What?
Gay Perry: Talking money.
Harry: A talking monkey?
Gay Perry: Talking monkey yeah, yeah! Came here from the future, ugly sucker, only says "ficus."

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Bailey: Hey, it's me, Bailey. You don't have to use this in your movie or anything, although now that I think of it, fainting in Wallman's does kind of qualify me as a loser. But then again, wearing a price sticker on your forehead probably makes you one, too. Ya know, I don't know, Tibby, maybe the truth is there's a little bit of loser in all of us, ya know? Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants or getting to a new level of Dragon's Lair - making those count for more than the bad stuff. Maybe we just get through it... And that's all we can ask for.

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Pucci: Witchcraft!
Pucci's servant: Actually, sir, it's because hot air rises, counteracting the gravitational forces of... Witchcraft.

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Barkis Bittern: Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?

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John: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane: Oh, come on. It was just a little bomb.

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Marty: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
Alex: The penguins are psychotic.

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Nick Naylor: The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'.

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Campus Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Bo Duke: 10?
Campus Cop: 8.
Bo Duke: Isn't the speed limit 10?
Campus Cop: Yeah. It is.

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Fender: It's a mix between jazz and funk. I know! We can call it junk!

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Sasha: It's all right! They're the brothers Grimm! People talk about them in Marsburg! They're famous!
Will: Right you are son! The famous brothers Grimm. Look at this strapping young man.
Gregor: "He" is my daughter.
Will: And a fine wife he'll make some lucky man.

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[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up in the bunvac.]
Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want...toupee.
Wallace: Oh, yes, of course. We take cheques or cash.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: No, you idiot. My hair is in there.
Wallace: Oh, no, only rabbits in there. I think you'll find the hare is a much larger creature.

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Floyd: Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch!

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Matt Stifler: Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.

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[Warden Hazen gets a gallon of Gatorade dumped on his head.]
Warden Hazen: That's a week in the hot box!
Battle: Who gives a shit?

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