Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

Willy Wonka: Good morning starshine...the earth says hello!

Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.

Hitch: I just know that I want to be... Miserable. Like, *really* miserable. But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be happy, then... Wait, that didn't come out right.

Helen: Orlando, what's going.
Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife.

Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"

Gwen Grayson: I went through puberty twice for this?!

David Patrick: We stopped off for ice cream.
Winston: When the fuck did we get ice cream?

Dick Harper: Son of a bitch.
Jane Harper: That fucker.
Dick Harper: Hon, language.

Barkis Bittern: Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?

Meredith Morton: I hope I'm not putting anyone out.
Amy Stone: Me. You're putting, me out.

Chris: I can't hear you Samantha. I can't hear you. OH! Lightbulb.

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.

[Warden Hazen gets a gallon of Gatorade dumped on his head.]
Warden Hazen: That's a week in the hot box!
Battle: Who gives a shit?

Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm.
Pauline: They planted a still? Why would they have to plant a still?
Daisy Duke: 'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real still.

Sarah: I'm not afraid of flying. I love flying. It's crashing I hate. Hate crashing.

Sweetness: Let's do this, Johnny.

Harry: Still gay?
Gay Perry: Me? No, I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much I can't get rid of it.

John: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane: Oh, come on. It was just a little bomb.

Great Aunt Adelaide: Incest.