Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.

Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.

Max: There is more to life than to watch other people live it.

Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

Slartibartfast: Ever heard of a place... I think it's called Norway? That was one of mine. I got an award for it.

Principal Powers: I'm not Wonder Woman, you know.

Harry: What?
Gay Perry: Talking money.
Harry: A talking monkey?
Gay Perry: Talking monkey yeah, yeah! Came here from the future, ugly sucker, only says "ficus."

Tibby: Well, maybe sometimes it's easier to be mad at the people you trust.
Carmen: Why? Why is that?
Tibby: Because you know they'll always love you, no matter what.

John: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane: Oh, come on. It was just a little bomb.

Marty: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
Alex: The penguins are psychotic.

Barkis Bittern: Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?

Servant Girl: My Lady says the pig must stay outside, but the animal, we'll take.

Shane Wolfe: Rule number one: never be too eager to rush your opponent.

Steven Tyler: Look at how those legs go all the way up and make an ass out of themselves.

Roland Sharp: I gave up alcohol about ten years ago.
Molly McCarthy: Didn't like yourself when you were drinking, huh?
Roland Sharp: Hell, I loved myself when I was drinking. It was the other people that had the problem.

Gracie Hart: I wish you wouldn?t kiss my watch. It?s not water resistant.

Simon Green: Why can't black people listen to country music?
Keisha Jones: Why?
Simon Green: Because every time they say "hoe-down" they think their sister got shot.

Yves Massarde: I understand you believe there is some sort of plague coming out of Mali.
Dr. Frank Hopper: We don't like to say "plague."
Yves Massarde: What do you think it is, then?
Eva Rojas: A plague.

Teresa: Did you know the Titanic sank the same week Fenway Park opened?
Al: April, 1912.