Samantha James: Wait a minute, am I being Punk'D? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?
Clark: How'd the big date go?
Chris: It was terrible. I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay? Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing. I don't know what that is, then I ended up shaking her entire body.
Clark: So you gave her a body shake?
Chris: Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing?
Clark: It looks like you picked up right where you left off. You're back in the friend zone.
Chris: I can't compete with this guy.
Clark: You can't compete? Are you kidding? You're Chris Brander. You're Hollywood, you date models! He's Jersey, he skis in his jeans. It's Dinkleman. It's Dusty Dinkleman.
Clark: Dinkleman's going down.
Chris: Dinkleman is going way down.
Samantha James: But I'm not ready for a gig.
Chris: Of course you are.
Samantha James: No... no. No! This is a bad idea Chris.
Chris: God I am so stupid.
Samantha James: No you aren't baby.
Chris: Here I am trying to make you into an artist when you're just a pop bubblegum sensation. But that's okay. Paris, here we come.
Samantha James: But I am an artist... I am an artist... Hey! I am an artist.
Chris: Good. You ready to do this?
Samantha James: I was born ready bitch.