Lindsey Meeks: You don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background. You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro's pitching Friday.
Ben: No, on Saturday. Schilling's Friday.
Troy: Why do we inflict this on ourselves?
Ben: Why? I'll tell you why, 'cause the Red Sox never let you down.
Troy: Huh?
Ben: That's right. I mean - why? Because they haven't won a World Series in a century or so? So what? They're here. Every April, they're here. At 1:05 or at 7:05, there is a game. And if it gets rained out, guess what? They make it up to you. Does anyone else in your life do that? The Red Sox don't get divorced. This is a real family. This is the family that's here for you.
Ben: That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'.
Reporter at Spring Training: Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben: I say the Red Sox... sex... and breathing.
Ben: I like being part of something that's bigger than me, than I. It's good for your soul to invest in something you can't control.
Lindsey Meeks: You're a romantic. You have a lyrical soul. You can love under the best and worst conditions.
Lindsey Meeks: You love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you. What do you say we try to do all of it. Let's try to jerk one out of the park.
Sarah: Die, Nazi spin bitch.
Viv: Johnny Damon, you got the sweetest ass in the league.
Lindsey Meeks: Did you clean up my bathroom, or did I dream that?
Ben: Me? No. The vomit elves came in. Really adorable. Really cute little things. I mean, little caps and little barf bags.
Lindsey Meeks: Well, thank you. I mean, you really, really went above and beyond.
Ben: Oh, no, please. It wasn't a big deal. I mean, you were very lady-like. Hardly any chunkage.
Lindsey Meeks: Wow, you have quite a little group here.
Ben: Well, it's my summer family.
Ben: Bucky Friggin' Dent.
Teresa: Did you know the Titanic sank the same week Fenway Park opened?
Al: April, 1912.
Lindsey Meeks: At what point do you say to yourself, "I'm counting on you to be the one, and I have no fall back plan."?
