Lola: Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
Big Mike: Well, you wouldn't put a frock on. If you don't want to get off with blokes, why put a frock on?
Lola: Thing is, Mike, ask any woman what she likes most in a man. Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity. Traditionally the female virtues. Perhaps what women secretly desire is a man who is fundamentally a woman.
Mrs. Cobb: Ah! Now the little pottery shoes, they're good luck, you see? You know, like Whitby has lucky glass ducks, Northampton has lucky pottery shoes. Can I just ask, are you a man?
Lola: I am, love, yes.
Mrs. Cobb: Ah, that's fine. Just so's I know how to leave the toilet seat.
Lola: Look to the heel, young man. The sex is in the heel.
Charlie Price: And remember. You are not making footwear. You are not making boots. You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex.
Lola: One never knows what joy one might find amongst the unwanted.
Lola: Came all this way for my advice? I feel like Oprah.
Lauren: Maybe you judge what you leave behind by what you inspire in other people.
Lauren: Lola, you're gonna have to excuse Charlie. We don't have many transvestites in Northampton.
Lola: I'm not merely a transvestite, sweetheart. I'm also a drag queen. It's a simple equation. A drag queen puts on a frock, looks like Kylie. A transvestite puts on a frock, looks like... Boris Yeltsin in lipstick. There, I said it.
Lola: There's a little... chill in the air... isn't there?
Lola: Change your mind about someone.
Lola: Put on a frock and I can sing 'Stand by Your Man' in front of five hundred strangers... Put on a pair of jeans and I can't even sodding well say hello.
Lola: There are some very funny people out there.