Walt: Oh my god, he is deranged!
Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm.
Pauline: They planted a still? Why would they have to plant a still?
Daisy Duke: 'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real still.
Sarah: I'm not afraid of flying. I love flying. It's crashing I hate. Hate crashing.
Slartibartfast: You must come with me, quickly or, or you'll be late!
Arthur: Late for what?
Slartibartfast: What? Oh, no...What is your name, earthman?
Arthur: Dent. Arthur Dent.
Slartibartfast: Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent. It's a kind of threat, you see.
Private: Skipper, should we tell them the ship is out of gas?
Skipper: Nah. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Great Aunt Adelaide: Incest.
Buck Cluck: You gotta be ready to listen to your children, even if they have nothing to say.
David Bloomberg: I'm 23.
Rafi Gardet: No, you're not. I don't believe you. Let me see the license... Oh, my God! You're a child. Taxi! I have T-shirts older than you.
Stitch: Stitch not bad. Stitch fluffy.
Stewie Griffin: Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person.
Brian Griffin: You're not hateful you just need to control your anger. Like I do.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, you mean by being sauced all day! Wait a minute! Of Course! That's it! If I'm drunk I'll be calm and if I'm calm I'll be nice, and if I'm nice then I won't go to hell. Fix me a highball I'm going to get good and tight.
Maggie Peyton: What's really your problem with me racing?
Ray Peyton Sr.: 'Cause you're the spittin' image of your mom... and... I can't lose her twice.
Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.
Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.
Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.
Valiant: It's not the size of your wingspan that counts, no, it's the size of your spirit.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.