Gloria Goodfellow: Petey? Petey? Walter?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the waterboard, we're just discussing the.
Gloria Goodfellow: Walter, where's Petey?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.
Gloria Goodfellow: I know the bloody feeling.
Pete Van Heuten: Yo-ho-ho, mofo.
Laura Henderson: If we are to ask our youth to surrender their lives, then we should not ask them to surrender joy - or the possibility of joy! And, if along the way, we cause too many people to congregate in the street, who gives a fiddler's fuck?
Max: What's on my head, what's on my head, what's on my head?
Phoebe North: Jimmy, we found Rainbow.
Matt Stifler: Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.
Walt Berkman: It's Welles' masterpiece, really. Many people think it's Citizen Kane, but Magnificent Ambersons, if it hadn't been ruined by the studio, would've been his crowning achievement. As it is, it's still brilliant. It's the old story, genius not being recognized by the industry.
Lance: It sounds great. Who's in it?
Walt Berkman: Orson Welles? I don't know, I haven't seen it yet. I've seen stills.
Julian Noble: I'm as serious as an erection problem.
Sara: Is it because you just don't understand the vagina? I'd be happy to draw you a chart.
Nick Naylor: The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.
Marienne Hotchkiss: Dance is a very powerful drug Mr. Keane. If embraced judiciously, it can exorcise demons, access deep seated emotions and color your life in joyous shades of brilliant magenta that you never knew existed. But, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance if one is ever to reap its rewards.
Kim: This is what happens when a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon reproduce.
Evil: Because when you point a finger at somebody else, you're pointing three at yourself and a thumb at the sky.
Adam: I may be damaged goods, but I'm goods none the less.
Pepe the Prawn: Those of you who have Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.
June: It is impossible to say Goodbye to someone you love. It is easier to say 'See ya Later... may be in heaven'.