Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.
Fender : Welcome to Robot City. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. And if you can't make it there, welcome to the club.
Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Valiant: It's not the size of your wingspan that counts, no, it's the size of your spirit.
Chanel: I know Botox Barbie didn't just call me ignorant.
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch.
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.
Maitre D': Whats wrong with him?
Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax.
David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Numathurman.
Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind.
David Abbott: Never mind.
Floyd: Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch!
Dylan: Chill out guys, I've got something stashed that just might help.
Brian: Dylan, we don't have time to indulge in recreational activities.
Tom Baker: What do you do for a living Eliot?
Eliot: Well... I'm in 8th grade.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Mayor Buckman: Got any last requests, boy?
Malcolm: Yeah. Kiss my black ass.
André: Who'd be dead if I hadn't saved you?
Angel-A: Who'd be dead if there wasn't anyone to save?
Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.
Emily Barnes: If there's anything that I know, it's that love is infinite. You can always make more when you need it. And just because you wanna give some to somebody else, doesn't mean that you'll take any away from me.
Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?
Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.
Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.
Mr. Marks: Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?
Nick Persons: Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons: Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car.
Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.