Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Toby: Your parent's house is a lot nicer.
Bree Osbourne: My parent's house comes with my parents.
Toby: Beauty is relative.
Bree Osbourne: Not my relatives.
Murray: Your mother and I both love you.
Elizabeth Osbourne: But we don't respect you.
Transman at party: We walk among you.
Bree Osbourne: Just because a person doesn't go around blabbing her entire biological history to everyone she meets doesn't make her a liar.
Sydney: There's this scruffy looking kid outside. If he's your boyfriend, I'm totally going to slit my wrists.
Elizabeth Osbourne: That dirty-looking boy who came to the door a second ago is your boyfriend? How old is he?
Bree Osbourne: 17.
Elizabeth Osbourne: Oh, my God, Murray, he's underage.
Bree Osbourne: Mom, he's my son.
Toby: You're gonna cut your dick off for Jesus?
Bree Osbourne: They don't "cut it off!" It just becomes an innie instead of an outtie.
Toby: How come an Indian wears a cowboy hat?
Calvin: Well, I guess it's because it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than a head band and a couple of eagle feathers.