Stewie Griffin: Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person.
Brian Griffin: You're not hateful you just need to control your anger. Like I do.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, you mean by being sauced all day! Wait a minute! Of Course! That's it! If I'm drunk I'll be calm and if I'm calm I'll be nice, and if I'm nice then I won't go to hell. Fix me a highball I'm going to get good and tight.
Diane Simmons: In other news, after several grueling days of frightening uncertainty, I finally get my period.
Tom Tucker: Well Diane, I'm sure you and your brother must be devastated by the loss of the two-headed offspring that might have been.
Tricia Takanawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Yes: box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup - no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold on to that one.
Tricia Takanawa: Thank you, Mayor West.
Peter Griffin: Another thing that grinds my gears is when I can't find the droids I'm looking for.
Stormtrooper: Yeah, me too. What gives with that?
Stewie Griffin: Ewwww, a band-aid.
Stewie Griffin: Let me tell you something Nessa, a bullet sounds the same in every language. So stick a fucking sock in it, you cow.
Horace: Hey, is he 18?
Brian Griffin: Horace, the drinking age is 21.
Horace: Oh.
Chosen answer: I have seen both versions and no they weren't.
Lummie ★