A.J. Ferguson: Now the race course is marked off with arrows, and it ends right back here, where it started from.
Darla: Waldo, I think we have to turn here.
Waldo: Girls have no sense of direction.
Darla: You know, you're starting to get on my nerves.
Stymie: You only meet your once in a lifetime friends... once in a lifetime.
George "Spanky" McFarland: People, people, we need your money.
Stymie: Wood doesn't grow on trees.
Alfalfa: Everything's working out perfectly. The guys are at the swimming hole, and I'm home with a tooth ache. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Buckwheat: We've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined.
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily.
Uh Huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.
A.J. Ferguson: And now it gives me great pleasure to present this beautiful trophy and the prize money... to Alfalfa Switzer... and Spanky McFarland.
Buckwheat: Quick, what's the number for 911?
Stymie: You're not thinkin' about Darla, are ya?
Alfalfa: No, of course not.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Good.
Alfalfa: I wonder if she's not thinking of me, too?
Stymie: I... Stymie... Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club... Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love, and if I do may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.
Darla: This tastes like somebody poured it through an old boot.
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin: Actually, it's a sneaker.
Alfalfa: All knights ride into battle wearing the colors of their lady fair.
Alfalfa: Why am I soaking wet?
Porky: Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.
Darla: Alfalfa, that's a part of you I've never seen before.
Alfalfa: Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"
Mr. Welling: Six kids, hard-working father, honest and trustworthy. Loan... denied.