Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Paul Crewe: Hey Pop, the time you hit Hazen in the mouth, was it worth 30 years?
Pop: For me it was.
Paul Crewe: Then give me my damn shoe.
Athos: Leave now. Leave Paris, leave France. Get as far from that evil woman's grasp as you can.
Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?
Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.
Gator: Hey Taffy, baby, come suck your daddy's dick.
Taffy: I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls.
Earl Williams: You don't have to answer this, Mollie, but is it true what they said in the papers?
Mollie Malloy: Is what true?
Earl Williams: That you were going to marry me on the gallows.
Mollie Malloy: Well, if it's in the papers, it must be true. They wouldn't print a lie.
Julie: It doesn't hurt to fall off the moon.
Reverend Flasher: William, don't you think it's time you came to church again?
William: What do you mean, Rector? Don't you remember? I was there last Sunday. I took the collection.
Reverend Flasher: I know. Next Sunday I want you to bring it back.
Sid: Every man should have a wife.
Rosie: Preferably his own.
Frannie Malincanico: I want that ring, Stanley.
Stanley Rosiello: I got a ring for ya, Fran. I got a ring for ya. Around my bathtub.