Best comedy movie quotes of 2000

How the Grinch Stole Christmas picture

Grinch: Fat boy ought to finishing up any time now. Talk about a recluse! He only comes out once a year, and HE never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes! [Notices Santa leaving.] OOOpsy! Forgot about the reindeer. If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. Oh, MaaaaAAAAAX!

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Movie Nut
Dude, Where's My Car? picture

Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?

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Scary Movie picture

Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.

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Best in Show picture

Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends,
Cookie Fleck: Hundreds,
Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.

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The Emperor's New Groove picture

Yzma: That's it, Kronk! Break the door down!
Kronk: Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany!

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Chicken Run picture

Babs: All me life flashed before me eyes! It was really boring.

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Charlie's Angels picture

Dylan: And that's kicking your ass!

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Snatch picture

Turkish: We've lost gorgeous George
Brick top: Well where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys is he?

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Bamboozled picture

Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.

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Bishop73
High Fidelity picture

Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

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The Whole Nine Yards picture

Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski: I'm gonna keep the coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door.

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Me, Myself & Irene picture

Hank Evans: Listen, Pocahontas, unless you put your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo comin'!
Irene P. Waters: Ok, look, I don't know what that means!

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Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman picture

Sam Tiler: Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.

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