The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.
Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.
Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.
Babs: I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy.
Pat Summerall: That's the second time tonight a Washington player's been knocked out by his own teammate.
John Madden: You know, there's a rule in sports, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."
Pat Summerall: There is?
John Madden: Yep.
Meg Swan: This? This is a fish. This is a fish! You know what? Just shut up.
Pete: I'll get tickets.
Natalie: I love tickets!
Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
Virginia: "For seven men, she gave her life. For one good man, she was his wife. Beneath the ice by Snow White Falls, there lies the fairest of them all."
Billy: So, what's it like, like?
Dad: What's what like?
Billy: London.
Dad: I don't know, son. I never made it past Durham.
Billy: Have you never been?
Dad: Why would I want to go to London?
Billy: It's the capital city.
Dad: Well, there are no mines in London.
Billy: Jesus Christ, is that all you think about?
Kevin: I am not your slave.
Joker: Count my money or party with bitches. Hundred and fitties or big ass titties. Count the green or get in between those titties.
Irene: So I smoked a little pot in college. What, is that a crime?
FBI Agent: Yeah.
Jeff Dearly: Look, I heard you the first time, Bobby. I ain't mute.
Elliot Richards: But it's my soul! I can't give you my soul.
The Devil: What are you, James Brown?
Ulysses Everett McGill: What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
Tommy Johnson: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?
Tommy Johnson: Well, I wasn't usin' it.
Jerry O'Neill: It's got nothing to do with me.
Jerry O'Neill: It all depends on the woman and how willing she is to discover her infinite supply of orgasms.