Sam Tiler: Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.
Al Burnett: Not everyone at NASA is a hotshot college genius. The guy I most admire is from a one-horse town in Ohio.
Ross 'Mitch' Mitchell: And what's he do?
Al Burnett: Tomorrow he's gonna walk on the moon.
Glenn Latham: ...Who's the guy?
Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.
Ben: I've been waiting on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.
Malcolm Turner: Ben, whatever you started in that bed, trust me, you're going to finish alone.
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt."
Lane Leonard: Love isn't about fate and magic bracelets and destiny. It's about finding someone you can stand to be around for 10 minutes at a time.
Grandma Klump: Now that's what I call the Muy Caliente El Negro Special.
Alex: Oh please, Mom had this talk with me when I was like, 11.
Joe: Once, there was only silence, and not a speck of hope in sight. And every tiny bubble burst on its journey towards the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again, it's a brand new era... about to begin.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits.
Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
Gazoo: Than I guess it was an insult.
Pete: So, uh, what brings you to Australia?
Maddie: Well, I uh, my parents inherited the inn.
Pete: Really? From who?
Maddie: Oh, some dead guy.
Pete: Some dead guy?
Corky the Dog: Hey, Jack, have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes... Right now.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.
Monica Jones: Melons are like boyfriends. Shall I tell you why? To get a single good one you must one hundred try.
Walt Price: Who designed these costumes? It looks like Edith Head puked, and that puke designed these costumes.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?