Cruella de Vil: Just a teensy, weensy heckle? You know - murderer.
Ben: I've been waiting on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.
Malcolm Turner: Ben, whatever you started in that bed, trust me, you're going to finish alone.
Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits.
Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
Gazoo: Than I guess it was an insult.
Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.
Deacon: Why do you taunt me with your darkness? Your evil is stinkin' up our streets! The end is near! We are all gonna die.
Grandma Klump: Now that's what I call the Muy Caliente El Negro Special.
Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas: Will you please go back to the mothership?
Frank Tobin: Only if you go with me, Tex-ass.
Janni Gogolack: You know I have this same car?
Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really?
Janni Gogolack: No.
Alex: Oh please, Mom had this talk with me when I was like, 11.
Lane Leonard: Love isn't about fate and magic bracelets and destiny. It's about finding someone you can stand to be around for 10 minutes at a time.
Roy O'Bannon: Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man.
Chon Wang: He's only twelve.
Roy O'Bannon: Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?
Bob Rueland: I miss Elizabeth. I'll always miss her. But I ache for Grace.
Turkish: It turns out the sweet talking, tattoo sporting pikey was a gypsy bare knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail.
Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Jim Grover: It's quints.
Vanessa: I just wanna know where I belong.
Mona Hibbard: You belong in the family box.
Miranda Frayle: I'm absolutely determined that the Countess of Marshwood shall be the longest, and greatest, role I ever played.
Felicity Marshwood: I do hope you won't find it too much of a strain.
Nigel: Mother.
Felicity Marshwood: I do know what I'm talking about. I've played it for years. I find it a good part, but technically rather exhausting.