Miss Congeniality (2000)

Victor Melling: I haven't seen a walk like that since "Jurassic Park".

Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.

Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.

Stan Fields: Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies.

Frank Tobin: You're a genius.
Kathy Morningside: No, Frank, I'm just pissed off.

Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.

Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.
Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.

Gracie Hart: There's something I can do for the talent, that I know how to do it since high school.
Victor Melling: You will not be having sex on this stage.
Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option, all right? All I have to do is call room service.

Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.

Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it.

Victor Melling: The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?

Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.

Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

Miss Hawaii: Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state,.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders.
Miss Hawaii: Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished?
Cheryl "Rhode Island": I'm sorry. I,.
Karen "New York": Ay Dios, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.

Kathy Morningside: Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.
Gracie Hart: Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
Gracie Hart: Yes.

Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?

Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.

Gracie Hart: Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?
Victor Melling: Because I am the best... they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have... dirty Harriet.

Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there.

Victor Melling: There are no words.