Miss Congeniality (2000)

Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.

Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.
Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.

Gracie Hart: There's something I can do for the talent, that I know how to do it since high school.
Victor Melling: You will not be having sex on this stage.
Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option, all right? All I have to do is call room service.

Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.

Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it.

Victor Melling: The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?

Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.

Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

Miss Hawaii: Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state,.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders.
Miss Hawaii: Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished?
Cheryl "Rhode Island": I'm sorry. I,.
Karen "New York": Ay Dios, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.

Kathy Morningside: Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.
Gracie Hart: Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
Gracie Hart: Yes.

Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?

Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.

Gracie Hart: Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?
Victor Melling: Because I am the best... they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have... dirty Harriet.

Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there.

Victor Melling: There are no words.

Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas: Will you please go back to the mothership?
Frank Tobin: Only if you go with me, Tex-ass.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": My parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire.

Victor Melling: Don't pick your feet up. Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I'm preparing to run away.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing books and - and music and - and movies.
Karen "New York": No wonder you're still a virgin.

Victor Melling: By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?
Gracie Hart: I will do whatever you want me to do, Yoda.