Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.
Victor Melling: I haven't seen a walk like that since "Jurassic Park".
Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.
Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.
Stan Fields: Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies.
Frank Tobin: You're a genius.
Kathy Morningside: No, Frank, I'm just pissed off.
Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.
Agent Clonsky: McDonald called. He saw Hart's little anti-smoking commercial, he's on his way down.
Eric Matthews: Oh, good, perfect, because I'd hate for him to fire me over the phone.
Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.
Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.
Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.