Miss Congeniality (2000)

Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

Victor Melling: I knew I'd never get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone.

Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'.

Eric Matthews: Why don't just you shut up?
Gracie Hart: Why? You're shutting up enough for both of us.

Victor Melling: Ten out of eleven years my girls were crowned. The year we lost, the winner was a deaf-mute. You can't beat that.

Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.

Eric Matthews: We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey.
Gracie Hart: And her performance in a little film called "Arma-get-it-on."
Stan Fields: Was that her?

Kathy Morningside: You know, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
Gracie Hart: What? You think that their dream is to get blown up?

Victor Melling: He's with me.
Eric Matthews: I'm not "with him" with him, you know? It's not like.
Victor Melling: Come on, muffin.

Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.

Victor Melling: I haven't seen a walk like that since "Jurassic Park".

Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.

Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.

Stan Fields: Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies.

Frank Tobin: You're a genius.
Kathy Morningside: No, Frank, I'm just pissed off.

Agent Clonsky: McDonald called. He saw Hart's little anti-smoking commercial, he's on his way down.
Eric Matthews: Oh, good, perfect, because I'd hate for him to fire me over the phone.

Gracie Hart: The last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": I was like a female Rain Man.

Gracie Hart: My teeth - What are you going to do with my teeth?
Victor Melling: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties.