Miss Congeniality (2000)

Kathy Morningside: You know, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
Gracie Hart: What? You think that their dream is to get blown up?

Victor Melling: Don't pick your feet up. Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I'm preparing to run away.

Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.

Gracie Hart: There's something I can do for the talent, that I know how to do it since high school.
Victor Melling: You will not be having sex on this stage.
Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option, all right? All I have to do is call room service.

Victor Melling: He's with me.
Eric Matthews: I'm not "with him" with him, you know? It's not like.
Victor Melling: Come on, muffin.

Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.

Victor Melling: I knew I'd never get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": I was like a female Rain Man.

Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.

Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.

Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.

Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.

Victor Melling: There are no words.

Kathy Morningside: Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.
Gracie Hart: Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
Gracie Hart: Yes.

Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.
Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.

Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.

Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.

Cheryl "Rhode Island": My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing books and - and music and - and movies.
Karen "New York": No wonder you're still a virgin.

Gracie Hart: Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?
Victor Melling: Because I am the best... they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have... dirty Harriet.

Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it.