Cheryl "Rhode Island": Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties.
Victor Melling: There are no words.
Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas: Will you please go back to the mothership?
Frank Tobin: Only if you go with me, Tex-ass.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": My parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire.
Victor Melling: Don't pick your feet up. Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I'm preparing to run away.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing books and - and music and - and movies.
Karen "New York": No wonder you're still a virgin.
Victor Melling: By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?
Gracie Hart: I will do whatever you want me to do, Yoda.
Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Victor Melling: I knew I'd never get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone.
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'.
Eric Matthews: Why don't just you shut up?
Gracie Hart: Why? You're shutting up enough for both of us.
Victor Melling: Ten out of eleven years my girls were crowned. The year we lost, the winner was a deaf-mute. You can't beat that.
Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.
Eric Matthews: We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey.
Gracie Hart: And her performance in a little film called "Arma-get-it-on."
Stan Fields: Was that her?
Kathy Morningside: You know, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
Gracie Hart: What? You think that their dream is to get blown up?
Victor Melling: He's with me.
Eric Matthews: I'm not "with him" with him, you know? It's not like.
Victor Melling: Come on, muffin.
Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.
Victor Melling: I haven't seen a walk like that since "Jurassic Park".
Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.
Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.
Answer: Yes, I can speak Russian, and what they said in the movie did make sense but they spoke so horribly it was almost impossible to understand them. But it wasn't bull.