Serge: We are still married, in the eyes of God.
Josephine: Then He must be blind.
Roux: Very good... but not my favorite.
Josephine: You don't misbehave here. It's just not done, did you know that? If you don't go to confession, if you don't... dig your flowerbeds, or if you don't pretend, if you don't pretend... that you want nothing more in your life than to serve your husband three meals a day, and give him children, and vacuum under his ass, then... then you're... then you're crazy.
School Boy: My mother says you don't have a father.
Anouk Rocher: Sure I do, we just don't know who he is.
Roux: I should probably warn ya: you make friends with us, you make enemies with everyone else.
Vianne Rocher: Is that a promise?
Roux: It's a guarantee.
Vianne Rocher: And these are for your husband. Unrefined cacao nips from Guatemala, to awaken the passions.
Yvette Marceau: Psshh. You've obviously never met my husband.
Vianne Rocher: Well, you've obviously never tried these.
Boy #1: I hear she's an atheist.
Boy #2: What's that?
Boy #1: I don't know.
Roux: How's the door?
Vianne Rocher: It squeaks.
Roux: Does it?
Francoise 'Fuffi' Drou: I heard she was some kind of radical.
Storyteller: Even the Comte de Reynaud felt strangely... released. Although it would take another six months for him to work up the courage to ask Caroline out to dinner.
Armande Voizin: Your cinnamon looks rancid.
Vianne Rocher: Well, it's not cinnamon, it's a special kind of chili pepper.
Armande Voizin: Chili pepper in hot chocolate? Psh.
Vianne Rocher: Mm-hm. It'll give you a lift.
Yvette Marceau: Do you have more of those bean thingies, please?
Vianne Rocher: Oh, sure. Um... How many do you want?
Yvette Marceau: How many have you got?