Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped?
Papa Klump: Come on, shoot.
Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, nigga.
Dean Richmond: Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walking down the street and this 8-year old boy says, Look Mommy, there's the Hamster's bitch.
Papa Klump: If I want to put a trumpet in my ass and run around this restaurant and blow, then "Hallelujah!Yankee Doodle!" that's my business.
Grandma Klump: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
Mama Klump: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.
Grandma Klump: Both feet, too. Both feet.
Papa Klump: What I do in my bedroom is MY business, you understand that?
Grandma Klump: The only thing you do in your bedroom is pull the lint off your scrotum.
Jason: Professor? You okay?
Sherman Klump: Yeah. I just don't wanna hurt her, Jason.
Jason: Then you won't. Hey, you CAN control Buddy.
Sherman Klump: You know it's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I know I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line, I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.
Continuity mistake: In the scene where they are in the all you can eat restaurant, when PaPa Klump farts into the candle causing the curtain to catch fire, when they first show the curtain after the 2 men put out the fire, there is clearly a burn mark on the edge of the curtain. However, when they show the curtain again, there is no burn mark. (00:17:25)
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