Violet: Cammie, I think I just fell in love with you.
Cammie: Oh Violet, I'm not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.
Violet: That's not, what I meant.
Washington Hogwallop: Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
Elliot Richards: But it's my soul! I can't give you my soul.
The Devil: What are you, James Brown?
Jerry O'Neill: It's got nothing to do with me.
Jerry O'Neill: It all depends on the woman and how willing she is to discover her infinite supply of orgasms.
Renato Amoroso: Signora Malena, a more capable person than me... wrote that the only true love is unrequited love. Now I understand why. It's been so long since you last came out of your house. But the longer we are apart, the stronger my love becomes.
Grady Tripp: It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.
Cliff Buxton: Do you know what I thought when this first came up?
Glenn Latham: What, your pipe?
Cliff Buxton: No. The moon mission.
Glenn Latham: You beauty?
Cliff Buxton: I thought, imagine stuffing that up. Isn't that odd?
Glenn Latham: What?
Cliff Buxton: Well, that I was more scared than excited.
Glenn Latham: I don't think that's odd. I feel like that all the time.
Officer Harry Cox: Harry Cox is all over this, sir.
Kathryn: Two's company. Three's a fuck load of fun.
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt."
Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."
Tommy Pickles: I believe in the playground. It is my favoritest place. But two yesterdays ago two boys came and buried my brother's binky. Then he started to cry.
Dil Pickles: Binky.
Angelica: You have come to me on the day of this wedding for me to take care of two boys?
Tommy Pickles: No, just a new binky.
Joe: Once, there was only silence, and not a speck of hope in sight. And every tiny bubble burst on its journey towards the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again, it's a brand new era... about to begin.
Mrs. Tingle: Who can tell me if Frankenstein was circumcised?
Sam Tiler: Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.
Tony: Bed for the undead?
Janni Gogolack: You know I have this same car?
Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really?
Janni Gogolack: No.