Grady Tripp: James like it or not those people out there are your parents.
James Leer: They're not my parents.
Grady Tripp: What?
James Leer: They're my grandparents... my parents are dead.
Grady Tripp: James the man is obviously your father... you look just like him.
James Leer: There's a reason for that.
Sara Gaskell: So. I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry each other, and have this baby, right? Simple.
Grady Tripp: Shit, James. You shot Dr. Gaskell's dog.
James Leer: I had to! Didn't I?
Grady Tripp: Couldn't you have just pulled him off me?
Terry Crabtree: I just want you to know I heard everything the whole parents, grandparents, chinatown thing. I believe you. That's why we're here. Go get dressed.
Grady Tripp: It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.
Oola: I know you. Double Dickel on the rocks. I never forget a drink.
Grady Tripp: And I never forget an Oola.
Vernon Hardapple: Why did you keep writing this book if you didn't even know what it was about?
Grady Tripp: I couldn't stop.
Wordfest party guest: How did you feel about the adaptation?
Wordfest party guest: I thought it was more literary than cinematic.
Terry Crabtree: Let me get this straight. Jerry Nathan owes you money, so as collateral he gives you his car.
Grady Tripp: Only I'm beginning to think that the car wasn't exactly Jerry's to give.
Terry Crabtree: Ah, so whose car was it?
Grady Tripp: My guess? Vernon Hardapple.
Terry Crabtree: The hood jumper?
Grady Tripp: He said a few things that lead me to believe that the car was his.
Terry Crabtree: Such as?
Grady Tripp: "That's my car, motherfucker."
Terry Crabtree: So is he any good?
Grady Tripp: No, not yet.
Terry Crabtree: Well, I'm going to read it, anyway.
Grady Tripp: Aw Crabs, C'mon will you? He's one of my students for Christsakes. Besides, I'm not even sure if he's.
Terry Crabtree: He is. I'm sure, take my word for it, I see myself in him.
Grady Tripp: Oh, I'm sure you do.
James Leer: No offence, Professor Tripp, but you look kinda crappy.
James Leer: It's just... for good luck. Some people carry rabbits' feet.
Grady Tripp: ...You carry firearms.
Grady Tripp: Whenever I wondered what Sara saw in me, and I wondered more than once, I always came back to the fact that she loved to read. She read everything every spare moment. She was a junkie for the printed word. And lucky for me, I manufactured her drug of choice.
James Leer: Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly.
Grady Tripp: That's just what they used to say in the ads.