Best comedy movie quotes of 1978
Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.
Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Gloria Mundy: Take me home.
Stanley Tibbits: What?
Gloria Mundy: Take me home, please.
Stanley Tibbits: Uh, sure. Um... my place or-or, yours?
Gloria Mundy: Which is closer?
Mr. Jordan: He's been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a murder. See how he's slowly sliding into the water?
Philippe Douvier: The bomb destroyed half the block and Clouseau survived.
Pedro: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?
Man Stoner: "Tied stick"?
Pedro: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.
Man Stoner: Ohh, thai stick.
Jasper Blubber: The murderer is a Rumanian sailor by the name of Vladimir Tserijemiwtz.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Can you say that again?
Jasper Blubber: Not without spitting. - Well, sir, I have spent sixteen years, and every penny I have, sir, tracking this man down, and at last I have found him! He is here in San Francisco, just as sure as you're sitting there. He's changed his name by making an anagram out of his original name. Seven years I've tried to unscramble it, to no avail.
Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: 'Scuse me, uh, seventeen miles an hour?
Tico: Fifteen.
Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: On the in'erstate. What are ya doin', lookin' for a contact lens?
Tico: You patties crack me up. Still doin' your speed number, huh?
Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Well what are you into, miles per gallon?
Tico: Class...we're into class.
Archie Macaw, Record Producer: Well, one day this rather odd chap hopped into the office. He'd been to see virtually everyone in the business and been shown the door. He asked to see MY door, but I wouldn't show it to him. Instead, he showed me the photographs and tapes of the Rutles. They were pretty rough, but they had something.
Narrator: What was it?
Archie Macaw, Record Producer: I think it was the trousers.
Maggie McKeown: That guard is still out there.
Paul Grogan: Fine, I need you to distract him.
Maggie McKeown: What for?
Paul Grogan: So I can get away.
Maggie McKeown: So you can get away? What about me?
Paul Grogan: Well suit yourself. Just come onto him, tell him what an admirer you are of Army or something like that.
Maggie McKeown: What if he's gay?
Paul Grogan: Then I'll go and distract him.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: You oughta be shot right where you're standing! So help me if I had a gun, I'd do it myself.
Rubber Duck: That badge would make it all right, wouldn't it?
Jake - voice: My name is Zunar J 5 Slash 9 Doric 4 7.
Frank: Uh, Z-Zunar.
Jake - voice: ...Let's just stick with 'Jake', okay?
Jim Richardson: I can say without fear of contradiction, that under no circumstances, and at no time has that current administration expended any public monies whatsoever for the purchase of the fluffy flower print toilet paper.
Emile Prevert: Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.
Emmannuelle Prevert: I don't want Tom or Harry.
Henry Moon: We was just sayin' how much we needed a figurine.
Grandmaster Pai Cheng-Cheh: What a bitch. I hope she drops dead.
Sidney Cochran: One day when you're an antique I shall vote for you. I promise.
Cholla: You Philo Beddoe?
Philo Beddoe: Do I know you?
Cholla: You're gonna.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.