Sgt. Stedenko: The only kind of meat a priest could eat on Friday was nun.
Arnold Stoner: Dear God, almighty me... I think he's the Antichrist.
Unknown: Sgt. Stedenko what are you exactly looking for?
Sgt. Stedenko: Dope, drugs, weed, grass, toot, smack, quackers, uppers, downers, all arounders. You name it we want it.
Arnold Stoner: You get yourself a job before sundown, or we're shipping you off to military school with that goddam Finklestein shit kid! Son of a bitch.
Curtis: This shit is so bad, it'll put a hump on a camel's back.
Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
Pedro: A week. I mean a day.
Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
Pedro: A weekday.
Man: You wanna get high man?
Pedro: Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls man?
Pedro: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?
Man Stoner: "Tied stick"?
Pedro: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.
Man Stoner: Ohh, thai stick.