Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.
Mrs. Marcus: Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.
Mrs. Marcus: Sounds so foreign.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Really?
Gardiner Fraleigh: Call your baby! My wife's having a husband.
Woman: I've never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.
Princess Dala: Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?
Michael Patrick 'Guns' Donovan: Aw, Monk, you're not gonna let three guys take on one - even if it is Gilhooley.
Sergeant Monk Menkowicz: I seen it done.
Harry McAfee: The next time I have a daughter, I hope it's a boy.
Moustache: It's a hard way to earn an easy living.
Dr. Craven: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, / Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. / While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, / As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door. / Only this and nothing more."
Lory Filch: You're a fine one, Vickers Cavendish. Wasting your time reading when you should be thinking up some scheme to defraud.
Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Ted: Have an accident?
Charlie: No thank you, we've just had some.
Professor Julius Kelp: And I think that the lesson that I learned came just in time. I don't want to be something that I'm not. I didn't like being someone else. At the same time I'm very glad I was cause I found out something that I never knew. You might as well like yourself. Just think about all the time you're going to have to spend with you. And if you don't think too much of yourself, how do you expect others to?
Homer Smith: I'm gonna' build me a chapel.