Best comedy movie quotes of 2014

A Million Ways to Die in the West picture

Anna: You're a good sheep farmer!
Albert: Oh my god, please! I suck at sheep. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week.
Anna: Really?
Albert: Yeah. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars.

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Kingsman: The Secret Service picture

Harry Hart: There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

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The Grand Budapest Hotel picture

M. Gustave: Well, what does it say? Where is it? What's it all about, damn it? Don't keep us in suspense, Serge, this has been a complete fucking nightmare! Just tell us what the fuck is going on!

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The Lego Movie picture

Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles picture

Michelangelo: What's up, brah? Oh, you think you can handle this, Huh? I'm a snapping turtle fool!

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Big Hero 6 picture

Fred: If I could have any superpower right now, it would be to be able to go through that phone and give you a big hug.

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Dumb and Dumber To picture

Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

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Muppets Most Wanted picture

[Dominic puts his business card in front of the muppets.]
Kermit: Dominic Badguy?
Dominic: It's pronounced Bajee. It's French. It means "Decent Man."

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22 Jump Street picture

Jenko: I'm your best nightm... I'm your worst nightmare.

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The Other Woman picture

Lydia: Selfish people live longer.

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Will McKenzie: Meanwhile, I was chasing a girl I had recently fingered to sleep.

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12

Tammy (2014)

Tammy picture

Tammy: Once I got fingered by Boz Scaggs.
Pearl: Oh, Tammy.
Tammy: No, it's okay. It turns out it wasn't Boz Scaggs.

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Quantom X
That Awkward Moment picture

Preppy Guy: I need a drink too. I'll get you a drink too.
Ellie: Honestly what if I enjoy the drink. What happens then?
Preppy Guy: I'd love to hear what you think happens then.
Ellie: I'll tell you what happens then we go play beer pong with your two roommates until I end up back at yours in Murray hill.
Preppy Guy: Yeah, that's right how'd you know that.
Ellie: Yeah then I have to listen to your roommate have sex with Hilary, or Emily or whatever the girl's name is, until we fall asleep. And then a year later we're still playing beer pong in the same bars with your friends except now you feel pressured to get married and have kids because you think that's what I want.
Jason: Then in the summers you drive up to the Hampton to meet his parents wondering the whole ride if they're going to think your pretty enough.
Ellie: Smart.
Jason: Wondering the whole ride if they're going to think you're smart enough.
Ellie: Because no one is and then we have to drink shitty chardonnay.
Jason: At a shitty garden party.
Ellie: And have shitty conversations.
Jason: About shitty people.
Ellie: With his shitty mother.
Jason: Who let's face it doesn't think you're smart enough.
Ellie: Pretty.
Jason: Let's face it, doesn't think you're pretty enough.
Ellie: Because no one is.
Jason: No one ever will be.
Preppy Guy: What's all that shit, I'm just talking about a drink.
Jason: Yeah, but it wasn't just a drink though, was it.
Ellie: It was a marriage proposal.
Preppy Guy: Woah marriage, nah. It was a vodka soda. Alright fuck you guys then [walks off].
Jason: Drink?
Ellie: Yep.

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Into the Woods picture

Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.

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Let's Be Cops picture

Justin: I look like somebody hit me in the face with Lil Wayne.

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Horrible Bosses 2 picture

Dave Harken: Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.

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Paddington picture

Paddington: Mrs Brown says that in London everyone is different, and that means anyone can fit in. I think she must be right - because although I don't look like anyone else, I really do feel at home. I'll never be like other people, but that's all right, because I'm a bear. A bear called Paddington.

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Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) picture

Mike Shiner: Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige.

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Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb picture

Sir Lancelot: Sir Lancelot, at your service.
Teddy Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt, President of the United States of America.
Sir Lancelot: I have no idea what that means.

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