Best comedy movie quotes of 2014

Anna: You're a good sheep farmer!
Albert: Oh my god, please! I suck at sheep. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week.
Anna: Really?
Albert: Yeah. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars.

Harry Hart: There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

M. Gustave: Well, what does it say? Where is it? What's it all about, damn it? Don't keep us in suspense, Serge, this has been a complete fucking nightmare! Just tell us what the fuck is going on!

Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

Michelangelo: What's up, brah? Oh, you think you can handle this, Huh? I'm a snapping turtle fool!

Tammy: That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird.
Keith Morgan: I can promise you that's 110% bird.
Tammy: Bird doesn't come out of a squeezy tube!

Quantom X

Baymax: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?

Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

Jenko: I'm your best nightm... I'm your worst nightmare.

Preppy Guy: I need a drink too. I'll get you a drink too.
Ellie: Honestly what if I enjoy the drink. What happens then?
Preppy Guy: I'd love to hear what you think happens then.
Ellie: I'll tell you what happens then we go play beer pong with your two roommates until I end up back at yours in Murray hill.
Preppy Guy: Yeah, that's right how'd you know that.
Ellie: Yeah then I have to listen to your roommate have sex with Hilary, or Emily or whatever the girl's name is, until we fall asleep. And then a year later we're still playing beer pong in the same bars with your friends except now you feel pressured to get married and have kids because you think that's what I want.
Jason: Then in the summers you drive up to the Hampton to meet his parents wondering the whole ride if they're going to think your pretty enough.
Ellie: Smart.
Jason: Wondering the whole ride if they're going to think you're smart enough.
Ellie: Because no one is and then we have to drink shitty chardonnay.
Jason: At a shitty garden party.
Ellie: And have shitty conversations.
Jason: About shitty people.
Ellie: With his shitty mother.
Jason: Who let's face it doesn't think you're smart enough.
Ellie: Pretty.
Jason: Let's face it, doesn't think you're pretty enough.
Ellie: Because no one is.
Jason: No one ever will be.
Preppy Guy: What's all that shit, I'm just talking about a drink.
Jason: Yeah, but it wasn't just a drink though, was it.
Ellie: It was a marriage proposal.
Preppy Guy: Woah marriage, nah. It was a vodka soda. Alright fuck you guys then [walks off].
Jason: Drink?
Ellie: Yep.

[Dominic puts his business card in front of the muppets.]
Kermit: Dominic Badguy?
Dominic: It's pronounced Bajee. It's French. It means "Decent Man."

Will McKenzie: Meanwhile, I was chasing a girl I had recently fingered to sleep.

Lydia: Selfish people live longer.

Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.

James Payton: Aw, damn, it's Sir Scream-a-Lot.
Ben Barber: I was responding to a hostile situation, James. I have no shame in that. You call for backup when there's a hostile situation.
James Payton: That wasn't calling for backup. That was a high-pitched scream, and you pushed my sister in the way.
Ben Barber: I pushed your sister out of harm's way. You shined the light at us, James.

Mia Rinaldi: Back off, blood whore! He's mine now.
Lissa Dragomir: God, I hate high school.

George Washington: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men, and some dogs, are created equal.

Veronica Mars: Come back to me.
Logan Echolls: Always.

Jess: Are we in a gang?
Martin: This is not a gang.

Carl Casper: I'm like a cat playing a piano.