Best comedy movie quotes of 2014

Blade Ranger: It takes a special kind of plane to become a firefighter.

Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.

Vincent: You never seen Abbott and Costello?
Oliver: No, sir. Are they old?
Vincent: No. They're dead. That's the oldest you can be.
Oliver: Or the youngest. Time freezes when you're dead.

Max Simkin: Hey, Ma, let me ask you somethin'. You ever wish you were somebody else?
Sarah Simkin: No. I'm your mother. That's all I ever wanted to be.
Max Simkin: But... if you could do whatever you wanted to do, what would it be?
Sarah Simkin: Um... Have dinner with your father. That would be nice.

Kevin: Okay, So here's the Plan... We take them inside, get their hand stamped and they can't get out. Like Shawshank Redemption.
Marco: I love it.

Dave Skylark: You got fucked by Robocop, dude.

Moza: Good evening, a table for one?
Cuenca: I see you're good at math.

Jagat Janani: What is your name?
P.K.: I don't have any name. But I don't know why people called me PK... Pk.

Lt. Det. Christian F. "Bigfoot" Bjornsen: You smell like a patchouli fart.

Max: You ate Travis. You ate my brother.
Evelyn: Half brother, Max.

Josh: I like our life as it is.
Cornelia: Yeah. I mean if we wanted to take off to Paris tomorrow we could.
Josh: If we're gonna do it, we should plan it with at least a month in advance.
Cornelia: A month is still in the realm of spontaneity.

Chrystal: What's the point in giving love if nobody gives it back?
Grumpy Cat: That's how we feel. Contrary to that sign on the door, we're not pets. I mean until somebody takes us home and loves us, we're just animals.

Arnold Albertson: Nobody can tell you where your place is, where is my place? Where is anybody's place? You wanna know where it is? Wherever you're happy, that's where your place is. And you're the best judge of that. In central park for instance some people like to feed the nuts to the squirrels but if it makes someone happy to feed squirrels to the nuts, who am I to say nuts to the squirrels?

Gordy McLeod: This morning I was thinking about Doug when he was Jess' age. I used to tickle him and he'd go, "No, no, no!" Then when I was finished, he'd go, "More, more, more, more!" Which sums up exactly how I feel about living.

Jay Wheeler: Whats the matter?
Daisy Kensington: You're standing on my toes.

Alice: Ni le début d'abus.

Sharon Gill: Dead prick.
Henry Altmann: Doctor cunt.

James Payton: So, you Omar! Damn, man! You ain't what I pictured. You ain't nothing but a black dude. Probably from Decatur.

Pink Poodle: Kill me now.

Justin: I look like somebody hit me in the face with Lil Wayne.