Vinnie Van Lowe: I'm the reason people know that Anne Hathaway has a vagina.
Rose Hathaway: My seventeen-year-old silliness, that was the past.
Dimitri Belikov: That was an hour ago. Are you trying to tell me you're suddenly mature and responsible?
Rose Hathaway: I'm trying to tell you that I want to be. I have to be. Teach me something more than doing laps. I know enough about running away. The next time we meet, teach me how to fight.
Lesley: Why don't I have any self respect?
Laura: You're an actress, honey.
Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.
Blade Ranger: It takes a special kind of plane to become a firefighter.
Dennis: Kylie, it is the drugs you have not taken that concern me the most.
Kylie Bucknell: What are you talking about?
Dennis: A year ago you were diagnosed as bipolar.
Kylie Bucknell: Yeah, to get in the sickness benefit. Everyone does it.
Dennis: Going off your medication can be very dangerous.
Kylie Bucknell: Dennis, I think you will find my mental state is pretty sound compared to the maniac that is living in our fucking walls.
Mick: Charles Manson is walking through the forest with this guy. And this guy turns to him and says, Dude, this is one scary forest. Charles turns to him and says, Shutup, man! I'm the one who's gotta walk outta here on my own!
Jagat Janani: What is your name?
P.K.: I don't have any name. But I don't know why people called me PK... Pk.
Jamie Wellerstein: Did you call your agent.
Cathy Hiatt: He's on a retreat.
Jamie Wellerstein: What the hell is an agent retreat?
Cathy Hiatt: I don't know, they go into the woods and sacrifice actresses to breed more agents.
Denis: Like Godzilla says to Mothra man, let's go eat some place.
Moza: Good evening, a table for one?
Cuenca: I see you're good at math.
Max Simkin: Hey, Ma, let me ask you somethin'. You ever wish you were somebody else?
Sarah Simkin: No. I'm your mother. That's all I ever wanted to be.
Max Simkin: But... if you could do whatever you wanted to do, what would it be?
Sarah Simkin: Um... Have dinner with your father. That would be nice.
Policeman Macy's: Alright lady, I'll put you down. You're an idiot.
Gordon: Good God, man. You've fallen for that little slice of American pie.
Richard: Dad.
Gordon: Now you listen to me. This might be the most important bit of advice that I ever give you. American women may be fun and Victoria Secret when you first met them, but as soon as they get their claws into you, they stop fucking and start eating, and the only ass you gonna get is a fat one.
Felix O'neil: Difficult, yes. Impossible... probably yes but that's never stopped us before.
Jay Wheeler: Whats the matter?
Daisy Kensington: You're standing on my toes.
Alice Klieg: This morning I woke up and there was a pubic hair on my pillow shaped like a question mark. And it really got me thinking of unanswered questions, like all the times in my life when I was supposed to feel something but I felt nothing and all the other times in my life where I wasn't supposed to feel anything but I felt too much and the people around me weren't really ready for all of my feelings.