Alice Klieg: This morning I woke up and there was a pubic hair on my pillow shaped like a question mark. And it really got me thinking of unanswered questions, like all the times in my life when I was supposed to feel something but I felt nothing and all the other times in my life where I wasn't supposed to feel anything but I felt too much and the people around me weren't really ready for all of my feelings.
Alice Klieg: I was a summer baby born in 1971 in Simi Valley, California, and I've been using masturbation as a sedative since 1991.
Alice Klieg: You docked in my port.
Title Card: I study myself more than any other subject. That is my physics. That is my metaphysics. -Michel de Montaigne.
Alice Klieg: Ladies and gentlemen, meatloaf cake, with mashed sweet potato icing, with only 433 calories, 52 grams of protein, and only five caibo-hydrants. I think I'm going to have a slice.
Alice Klieg: Come with me. Into another time that happened to me.
