Best TV quotes of all time

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A Series of Unfortunate Events picture

Violet Baudelaire: Why do you hate us so much?
Count Olaf: Because it's fun.

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Charlie and Lola picture

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

heartis
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Columbo picture

Columbo: Oh, I didn't come to ask any more questions. I came to arrest you.

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Archer picture

Archer: Lana. Lana. Lana? LAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lana: WHAT?!
Archer: Danger zone.

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Young Sheldon picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

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Star Wars: Clone Wars picture

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

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Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

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Will & Grace picture

New Will City - S3-E1

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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Three's Company picture

Diane McMillan: Janet, do you know what I do for a living?
Janet Wood Dawson: Of course I do! It's right here on your card in black and white. Diane McMillan, The Rapist.
Jack Tripper: That's therapist.
Janet's Father: She always did have trouble with her reading.

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Absolutely Fabulous picture

Sarah: Does your mother know you write plays and things?
Saffie: No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything.
Sarah: Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.
Saffie: Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails.
Sarah: It's a good job I'm thick-skinned... Well, except for the shoulder.

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Mama's Family picture

Naomi Oates Harper: Sonja, honey, did your mama ever talk to you about boys?
Sonja Harper: Well, she told me never to marry a locksmith.

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The Vampire Diaries picture

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

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F Troop picture

Chief Wild Eagle: It is balloon.

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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

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That '70s Show picture

Going to California - S5-E1

Kitty Forman: Oh good God, you kids switch partners more than square dancers!

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The Real Ghostbusters picture

Egon Spengler: Notice the vacant stare, the completely mindless look. That could only mean one thing.
Winston Zeddemore (I): She's from California?
Egon Spengler: No. She's been hypnotized.

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Lucifer picture

Dan: I don't know whether to laugh or to shoot you.
Lucifer: Surprise me.

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CSI: NY picture

Blink - S1-E1

Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.

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The Goodies picture

Earthanasia AKA The End of the World Show - S7-E6

Bill: Christmases come, Christmases go. They're all the ruddy same - no one ever remembers them.

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