Best TV quotes of all time

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Fawlty Towers picture

Communication Problems (a.k.a. Theft) - S2-E1

Mrs Richards: And another thing. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: [whispering to Manuel.] Deaf, Mad and Blind. [To Mrs Richards.] Yes, this is the view as far as I can remember... Yes, yes it is.
Mrs Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: But that is Torquay, madam.
Mrs Richards: Well it's not good enough.
Basil: Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain...
Mrs Richards: [interrupting.] Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You CAN see the sea! It's over there between the land and the sky!
Mrs Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well might I suggest you move to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferably in it.
Mrs Richards: Now listen to me. I'm not satisified but I've decided to stay. HOWEVER, I shall expect a deduction.
Basil: Why, because Krakatoa isn't erupting at the moment?
Mrs Richards: Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible and the radio doesn't work.
Basil: No, the radio works. You don't.

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Blue Bloods picture

Frank Reagan: I'm the PC. I know everything.

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The 100 picture

Day Trip - S1-E8

Conner: Tell me again.
Raven: You're the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms.

balistener

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Castle picture

Little Girl Lost - S1-E9

Beckett: [Growing weary of Castle and Sorenson trying to one-up each other.] Oh, for god's sake, why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with?
Castle: I'm game.

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Gunsmoke picture

Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long.
Festus Haggen: Why?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: 'Cause they're too dumb to know they're dead.

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Hannah Montana picture

Miley Stewart: I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Wooo!
Robby Ray Stewart: Well, don't believe it, because I'm not letting you go. Wooo!

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The Nanny picture

C.C.: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
Niles: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

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Three's Company picture

Stanley Roper: I want my rent.
Helen Roper: Stanley, where are your manners? You're supposed to say hello when you walk into a room.
Stanley Roper: Hello, I want my rent.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit picture

Born Psychopath - S14-E19

Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.

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Angel picture

Waiting In The Wings - S3-E13

Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.

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Doctor Who picture

The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle or two.

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The Waltons picture

The Reunion - S1-E14

Ike: How's it feel to be a working man?
John-Boy: Ike, Mama would skin me alive! Everyone knows those two ladies make bootleg whiskey.
Ike: But they don't know what they're doing. They're just following their papa's Recipe.
John-Boy: But sometimes they sell it!
Ike: Yeah, but they're just like two little girls by a roadside selling lemonade.

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The Man From U.N.C.L.E. picture

Napoleon Solo: My name is Napoleon Solo. I'm an enforcement agent in Section Two here. That's operations and enforcement.
Illya Kuryakin: I am Illya Kuryakin. I am also an enforcement agent. Like my friend Napoleon, I go and I do whatever I am told to by our chief.
Alexander Waverly: Hmm? Oh, yes. Alexander Waverly. Number One in Section One. In charge of this, our New York headquarters. It's from here that I send these young men on their various missions.

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Modern Family picture

Jay Pritchett: God knows I couldn't love them more, but even the Kennedy's didn't get together this often.

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Mama's Family picture

Naomi Oates Harper: Sonja, honey, did your mama ever talk to you about boys?
Sonja Harper: Well, she told me never to marry a locksmith.

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