Best TV quotes of all time

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Rick and Morty picture

Something Ricked This Way Comes - S1-E9

Rick: Cute, your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
Morty: Ooh. Oh, boy, Rick, I, I don't think you're allowed to say that word, you know.
Rick: Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded.
Morty: Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I, I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
Rick: Well, that's retarded.

Bishop73

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Firefly picture

Jaynestown - S1-E4

[About Jayne's statue.]
Wash: I think they captured him. Captured his esscence, you know?
Kaylee: He looks kinda angry.
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.

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Dark Shadows picture

Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?

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The High Chaparral picture

Billy Blue Cannon: I need all the rest I can get, Uncle Buck.
Buck Cannon: When I was your age, Blue, the word 'rest' hadn't been invented.

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Mama's Family picture

Naomi Oates Harper: Oh, you just love to put people down, don't you, Mrs. Harper?
Thelma 'Mama' Harper: It is not only a pleasure, I see it as my duty.

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Animaniacs picture

Man: Do you know who I am?
Yakko: Why? Did you forget?

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Are You Being Served? picture

German Week - S3-E6

Miss Brahms: I think Mr. Rumbold should dress up as something.
Mrs. Slocombe: Yes. Wasn't Frankenstein a German?
Miss Brahms: That's right. With his nuts in his neck. [Makes twisting motions with her fingers near her neck.] Like that.
Mr. Rumbold: I wouldn't be able to take part, of course, in case I was summoned to a board meeting. But I see no reason why Captain Peacock shouldn't participate.
Captain Peacock: I can think of lots of reason why I shouldn't participate. Somebody has to have authority over the floor and these clothes that I wear symbolize that authority.
Mr Lucas: Why don't you dress up as Hitler?

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The Waltons picture

The Reunion - S1-E14

Ike: How's it feel to be a working man?
John-Boy: Ike, Mama would skin me alive! Everyone knows those two ladies make bootleg whiskey.
Ike: But they don't know what they're doing. They're just following their papa's Recipe.
John-Boy: But sometimes they sell it!
Ike: Yeah, but they're just like two little girls by a roadside selling lemonade.

Super Grover Premium member

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3rd Rock from the Sun picture

See Dick Run (1) - S1-E20

Sally: You know, I just really resent how we're supposed to jump every time the Big Giant Head sends a message.
Dick: I know. Everyone knows he only got the job by kissing the big giant butt.

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The Walking Dead picture

I Ain't a Judas - S3-E11

Carol: haven't had a chance to say, I'm glad you came back.
Daryl: To what? All this?
Carol: This is our home.
Daryl: This is a tomb.
Carol: That's what T-Dog called it, thought he was right, until you found me. He's your brother, but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down. After all look how far you've come.

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Stranger Things picture

Multiple characters: Mouth breather.

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Seinfeld picture

The Jimmy - S6-E19

Jimmy: Oh yeah, Jimmy's ready. Check Jimmy out. Jimmy's got some new moves. [Slips and falls from the water.] Jimmy's down.

Bishop73

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The Vampire Diaries picture

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

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Hannah Montana picture

Miley Stewart: I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Wooo!
Robby Ray Stewart: Well, don't believe it, because I'm not letting you go. Wooo!

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F Troop picture

Corporal Randolph Agarn: How do you get to Fort Courage? That's easy. You take a right at the rock that looks like a bear, then a left at the bear that looks like a rock.

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