Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
David Brent: If you want the rainbow you got to take the rain too. You know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over.
Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began.
Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.
Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1
Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.
Escargoon: You Know, you're a real couch potato. You're as big as a couch and you're full of potatoes.
Michael Kyle: Well, guess what Junior? You're from the mean streets of Stamford, Connecticut.
Sloane: Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Agent Marshall Flinkman: Just to clarify, I'm not being fired?
Sloane: Back to work means not fired.
Henry Finnerty: Wow, that ride must be really scary. Those two guys are holding hands.
James "Jimmy" Finnerty: That's the line for cotton candy.
Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.
Hoss Delgado: Give it to us straight, Goodburger. Is our little Remus.
Mandy: Billy.
Hoss Delgado: ...Billy, on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?
Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.
Clare Edwards: What are you doing here?
Eli Goldsworthy: Hi Eli, how are you? Fine Clare thanks for asking.
Clare Edwards: Hi.
Helga: Don't shoot or I'll kiss him again.
Milo Oblong: She's not bluffing! She'll do it! Her lips are like shark skin.
Dr. Phlox: It's unethical to harm a patient. However, I can inflict as much pain as I like.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
Lizzie: Time for go to bed.
Celeste: You ever been with a woman?
Officer Keith Charles: Of course.
Celeste: I don't get fucked in the ass.
Officer Keith Charles: That makes one of us.