Reba: I know what Kyra is doing.
Brock Hart: Like you did with Cheyenne?
Reba: Oh, one time! The one time our daughter gets pregnant and I never hear the end of it.
Woody: The nun had a baby? How could that be?
Jordan: She's a woman first, nun second.
Nate: Why do you treat me like shit all the time, Brenda?
Brenda: Because I've had a really fucked-up life and I need sarcasm to hide how ridiculously miserable I am.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
Barry: You know what?
Brennan: What?
Barry: You throw energy. I am energy.
Brennan: Your parents must be proud.
Niels Buckingham: I've felt the horrors of alcoholism myself. I was on a journey, the destination was Cambodia. I was going with high speed down the rollercoaster of life. Booze, gambling, voluptuous women, cockfights, pills, midgets and junior strip. Opium and mud wrestling against blind people. At last, it all became too much and I was expelled from Copenhagen Airport.
Jo McGuire: Well, I can't speak for Lanny.
Sam McGuire: Somebody's got to.
Brian Potter: Don't talk to me about upper body strength, Lesley! My forearms are massive.
Les: An' we all know why that is don't we? Too much "Trumpet Polishin'"
Aku: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.
Flavius Aetius: Let's make a bargain here and now, a treaty of peace between your people and mine.
Attila the Hun: I think that's the first sign of weakness I've seen you show.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Maybe it's a log. What do you think?
Commander Tucker: Beats me. Could be a laundry list... or instructions on how to conquer the universe?