Max: Tough age seventeen. They're right on the brink of being able to tell you to shove it and they know it.
Macy: That's right. Jordan must have been a handful at that age.
Max: With Jordan this stage started at eleven.
Macy: And when did it end?
Max: I'm still waiting.
Macy: Nobody knows what kind of parent they'd make until it's too late to back out.
Macy: Well... three dead people, three different guns, three fatal bullet wounds. A shoots B, B shoots C, C shoots A.
Jordan: Commutative Property of Murder.
Bug: You take it! I've got a date with a drug addict... Autopsy 4.
Dr. Peter Winslow: She doesn't want me... She wants you.
Bug: What? Someone... wants me?
Jordan: The moon's in uranus.
Woody: Excuse me.
Jordan: Garret, have you gotten any recently?
Macy: Pardon me?
Jordan: You heard me. How long has it been?
Macy: We are not having this conversation.
Macy: Why would you want to have sex six times in one day? I mean, come on, we're people not Bunnies.
Lily: Dr.Macy said Bunnies.
Nigel: Look, I don't know how much you know about Jordan, but-.
Jordan: She's an enormous pain in the ass.
Dr. Peter Winslow: So... We're looking for a missing girl and a guy who doesn't exist. Hmmm... That's challenging.
Lily: Tell me about it.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: So if I killed my husband, where would I stash the body?
Jordan: If you killed your husband you'd have to start in the closet.
Macy: You okay, man?
Dr. Peter Winslow: Yeah. I'm just not used to working on bodies that are still bleeding.
Woody: Don't tell me that I missed something.
Bug: Okay, I won't. But you did.
Det. Cruz: Should I take this to Macy?
Jordan: You can take this to the Pope for all I care.
Dr. Trey Sanders: How do you know all this, Nigel?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Insomnia and the History Channel. It's a lethal combination.
Bug: She saw my name on the directory and a big sign on my forehead that said dumbass.
Jordan: Whenever I start to get close to someone this little voice starts screaming in my head. Run, fast. Crazy. Messed up. Cuckoo. I wish I could promise you it won't happen again, but it probably will.
Devan Maguire: You know, I've been trying to shake the whole cheerleader image for years. Is it really that bad?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Keep trying, luv.
Woody: Let's not jump to any hasty conclusions here. If I was looking for the wack-a-doo conspiracy version I would have called Jordan in.
Nigel: I am some how both flattered and insulted by that.
Det. Cruz: You and I are on the same street, you know. Just different sides.
Jordan: That doesn't make us pals. So far - not a big fan.
Det. Cruz: Don't worry. I grow on people.
Jordan: So does fungus.
Lily: You have the sensitivity of a lizard.
