Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.
Jaynestown - S1-E4
[About Jayne's statue.]
Wash: I think they captured him. Captured his esscence, you know?
Kaylee: He looks kinda angry.
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.
Elaine "The Pain" Boyack: I'm very good with children, it's just, just that Tracy Beaker's not very good at being a child.
Lt. Horatio Caine: You're evil, you enjoy death, and I hope you enjoy your own.
DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.
Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12
Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.
Ruth Evershed: Shall I hit him again Adam?
Adam Carter: Only if you want to.
Det. William Moreland: You seem awfully happy today.
Det. Ray Cole: I got laid last night.
Det. William Moreland: Oh yeah? Your asshole still hurt?
Claudette Wyms: Oooooh. Busting crime one blunt at a time.
Kim: I'm not criticizing you, I'm just saying you look bad.
Gil: When I'm out for blood, I never let sex get in the way.
Susan the Monster: That's funny, for me it's just the other way around.
Narrator: You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. You are entering the Twilight Zone.
Big Dee Dee Thorne: Well, since no-one has offered to buy me a drink, I guess I'll buy my own. Now I know how Phyllis feels.
Dr. Drakken: Oh look, it's Kim Possible and her friend.
Ron: Hello, I've got a name.
Dr. Drakken: Which I can never remember.
C.J.: Got a wing with your name on it, buddy.
Jim: Don't get carried away.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.
Naruto Uzumaki: Everyone... everyone... has risked their lives to come after you.
Sasuke Uchiha: Well, how good for them.
Permanent Record customer: Where can I find Duran Duran?
Margaret: K-Mart.
Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Caesar: Cleopatra rules a large part of Africa.
Calpurnia: And ALL of you.